AnyoneEB's Quotefile

Welcome to my quotes file. Some older quotes are not here. Feel free to suggest quotes.

23 July 2010: Seriously where is 3.0? Everyone knows it is only progress when the first number gets bigger. Like the number of g's for cell phones.
- /. comment by Lifyre
They should stop, because I already have an 11G phone.
- reply by Darth Sdlavrot
Yeah, but seven of those Gs are compactified on a Calabi-Yau manifold.
- anonymous reply
Ah, now I understand why we don't get mobile phone contracts with no strings attached!
- reply by maxwell demon
06 February 2010: "*Pulls cell phone charger out of pocket and stares at it* Wait, if my cell phone charger is in my pocket, how is my cell phone charging?" - Jimmy, very confused
03 February 2010: "I wasn't talking about apocalypse myths; I was talking about formal wear." - Benjy
23 November 2009: (04:28:15) Weili: I used the actual class time for sleeping
(04:28:20) Weili: which I also consider relatively productive
(04:28:26) Weili: because I'm not doing it now
(04:28:27) Weili: >__>
11 November 2009: "This is exactly what happens right before someone shoots you in the Bible." - Jimmy
02 November 2009: Jeff: i mean, when i own a cruise ship, i can park it where i want
Jeff: and i would park it where i want--i dare you to tow my cruise ship
19 October 2009: "The heart beats and, like, functions." - Marguerite
04 September 2009: Jimmy: [Elise] has every program I have never heard of installed on that computer.
Elise: No, only up to the Ps.
30 August 2009: "An operating system is similar to a government. Like a government, it performs no useful function by itself." ~ Operating System Concepts by Silberschatz, Galvin, Gange
29 June 2009: "the point is, i don't even know what area i work in exactly" - Jeff on NDAs for his internship
21 June 2009: Jimmy: grr.
me: ?
Jimmy: my snort-giggle was perfectly innocent.
17 June 2009: And all this time I thought the lack of sunspots was caused by global warming.

Back to the drawing board. :)
- /. comment by reboot246
There are no pirates on the sun. That's why the surface of the sun is so hot. In retrospect, it's obvious, isn't it?
- reply by fractoid
31 May 2009: (20:29:35) Jimmy: i'm taking a short break before i attack some javascript head-on.
(20:32:11) Jimmy: i just threw my right arm...:-(
28 May 2009: (04:14:39) Jeff: i also just typed "wp carbon" and got confused when i saw a period table
(04:15:26) Jeff: periodic*
23 May 2009: "Wikipedia [is] holding a piece of my soul." - Jimmy
22 May 2009: "You know what's weird? There's a whole country full of people who speak the language. It's not just the people in my class who speak Swedish. There's a whole country of people who speak it." - Dasha
19 May 2009: "That's why I have a knife. So I don't have to follow instructions." - Jimmy
19 May 2009: "Your prideful denial of your addiction to tea is disturbing and distressing." - Jimmy (to Dasha)
17 May 2009: "Stop dilating your eyes! Stop it! Stop!" - Jimmy (to Ailsa)
17 May 2009: Dasha: When's your birthday?
Ailsa: November, why?
Dasha: Damn. When do sheep go out of season?
17 May 2009: "*speaking squeakily* Who's a good sheep? Who's a good sheep?" - Ailsa
11 May 2009: "I'm going to put that on Twitter... I have a twitter now!" - Jimmy
05 May 2009: Who wants to target a moving standard?
Software Engineers. It is what we do for a living."
- /. comment by Zero__Kelvin
28 April 2009: /. comment by robthebloke: "The army has tanks. Konami has... dance dance revolution."
Reply (anonymous): "You know the army is jealous they went the wrong way with that one. Konami totally has the upper hand there."
23 April 2009: On the Slashdot article "NASA Moon Launch May Be Delayed After 2020" comments:
Sillygates: "Maybe, this time, we will make it to the moon!"
nschubach: "I'm still trying to figure out how and where they are launching the Moon... ;)"
05 April 2009: "I considered installing libssl-ocaml-dev, but that would make no sense. It would also depend on ocaml." - Jimmy
25 March 2009: "While I have little faith in electronic voting if the CIA told me the sky was blue, I would check and then have my eyes examined for tampering just to be sure." - /. comment by SmallFurryCreature
21 March 2009: "Now they pay my tuition because I teach their children. ... undergrads." - Marielle on her TA position
20 March 2009: "I yearn for ye olde bone and ghost..." - Margaret playing a computer game
19 March 2009: Jeff: "The Watchmen had the biggest openning weekend of any R-rated film."
Margaret: "It beat out the Matrixes? *questioning* Matrices?"
13 March 2009: "The best way I can come up with to back this claim is to have a woman read this and claim woman's intuition." - Jimmy
12 March 2009: "STOP ANSWERING MY QUESTIONS WHILE I'M TYPING THEM." - Krista in a text to Jimmy
08 March 2009: "What about a function that is zero everywhere except a few isolated points? The integral (Equation 3.9) would still vanish, even though the function itself does not. If this bothers you, you should have been a math major. In physics such pathological functions do not occur..." - footnote 6 on page 95 of Introduction to Quantum Mechanics, Second Edition by David J. Griffiths
04 March 2009: Dasha: "What does tongue-in-cheek mean, anyway?"
Jimmy: "... joking?"
Dasha: "No, I'm not joking. I really don't know what it means."
Jimmy: "Joking. It means 'joking'."
03 March 2009: "I was being uh, uh, uh... what is it called when you are being literary? ... I was being literary." - Jimmy
01 March 2009: "Man, I still can't believe this operating system isn't purple." - Jimmy on Ubuntu
20 February 2009: "It's one of those things where I feel like I can walk up to a random person on the street and kick them in the balls and be like 'Oh, sorry, recession.' and they will be like 'I understand, man.'" - Chris Romeo
05 February 2009: "Order is a beautiful symbol. We should use it as much as possible." - Professor Pass after fixing a minor error by putting big-O around both sides
02 February 2009: "The word 'positive' is in there and that means [very short pause] something." - Prof. Charles Van Loan in CS 4220
19 January 2009: "I made a mistake, but I am allowed to make false statements because this is an honors course." - Prof. Ken Brown in Math 4340
17 January 2009: Jimmy: ok. ok. i give up. you're impossible to satisfy, even the mental version of you in my head making fun of all my ideas.
13 January 2009: "I'm amazing now. I'm about to achieve enlightenment, but I haven't done it yet... for tax reasons." - Jimmy
05 January 2009: "For those of you who are not familiar with Lisp, the entire story in a hundred words of more can be boiled down to a very expressive, dynamic, extensible language which can be used in a functional manner if you carry a picture of Haskell Curry in your pocket." - Alexandru Lazar, A Look at newLISP, OSNews
11 December 2008: *Leia kisses Luke in A New Hope*
?: "Incest!"
Jeff: "It's not incest without tongue."
08 December 2008: "Opera.

Opera is like a time a machine, everytime something new comes out - its already in opera.

Tabbed Browsing
Gestures
Loading Pages fast
Acid Test

Hell, it gets everything way ahead of anything else. When I wanted to find out the results of the US election in july, I downloaded opera and went to cnn.com - there it was "Obama wins". IE, Firefox, Chrome all those people had to wait until after the election.

Thus, if your impatient and want to know what everyone else is going to want, but want to know it ahead of them - get opera.

In fact if you already had opera you probably read this like last week."
- comment on OSNews by Kasi
06 December 2008: "Hey, wait, I was supposed to have my master plan done today, but that didn't happen." - Dasha
05 December 2008: "I haven't been on the internet since like 2:30?" - Drew, surprised around 8:00
02 December 2008: "Quick, gather the powers of r!" - Drew doing a physics co-op problem
25 November 2008: "The Isle of Man had their own Thing." - curator of the Icelandic collection at Cornell Library
24 November 2008: In response to a Slashdot article ending "The Waco Tribune has a short report about it, with comments by locals.":

"I must be tired...

I read, "The Waco Tribune has short report about it, with comments by lolcats."

I need either more sleep or less internet."
- comment by thesymbolicfrog
20 November 2008: "Isn't quantum physics that topic that other people study but you never know?" - person in my (non-quantum) physics class
17 November 2008: Jimmy: "So, it's a map from the same... uh..."
Daniel: "... a map from the old to the new."
(Jimmy wishes to clarify this conversation had nothing to do with Barack Obama.)
04 November 2008: "By the way, Obama has just taken Florida and Colorado." - BBC news announcer as quick interruption
31 October 2008: ...Oct 31 is a holy day

Ooh! Ooh! Thanks for reminding me--a chance to tell my favorite joke:

Q: Why do geeks celebrate Christmas on Halloween?
A: Because Oct. 31 = Dec. 25!

Here's my geek card. I've never heard that joke before. I understand it, and I actually did the same exact conversion earlier today, and the joke didn't even occur to me, so here's my humor card as well. I hope one day to earn them back. - /. comment by Bill, Shooter of Bul in reply to comment by sootman
27 October 2008: Drew: "Does that [pauses] make sense?"
Sarah: "Yes, but you're dancing, so you're confused."
23 September 2008: "Quite the opposite! It's them vs. us." - /. comment by Concerned Onlooker
20 September 2008: "You're not depressing; you just know a lot of depressing things -- and say them." - Lauren
06 September 2008: "Nah, you can have a negative percent chance of succeeding in a task. For example, if you have a -5% chance of succeeding, not only will you fail every time you make an attempt, you will also fail 1 in 20 times that you don't even try." - Slashdot comment by cortesoft
25 August 2008: Jimmy: "What the frick?"
Ailsa: "What the fuck is 'What the frick?'?"
10 August 2008: me: He did not list that in the set of times you have broken up that I remember...
Dasha: how many time have we broken up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????????
18 July 2008: *Someone opens the door.*
Jimmy (looking over): "Good, you aren't a cat."
25 June 2008: "… and then she started talking about gnomes, and I'm not sure if that was on the same topic or not." - Jimmy
02 June 2008: Trevor: ooh, i found a nice prime with "factor"
Trevor: 2943874109824093429
Trevor: strategy: mash keyboard until number is no longer composite
30 May 2008: "You ate five tenths of that cookie already? Why did I just say 'five tenths'?" - Cathy
06 May 2008: "The compiler wins, as usual, against the evil test case." - Etan
04 May 2008: Daniel: "There's four bits in a branch, right?"
Jimmy: "No, there's four bits in a nybble."
Daniel: "I had that coming."
03 May 2008: *Upon seeing a 70" projector screen made of a single piece of paper.*
Jimmy: "Where do you get a piece of paper that big?"
Guy with big projector screen: "Syracuse."
21 April 2008: "Are we talking about fighting or are we talking about sex? Because if we're talking about sex, the whole thing changes." - Jimmy
30 March 2008: Daniel: "I don't think they use any open source software in Japan."
Jeff: "That's because they're using all their open source on their sodas!"
29 March 2008: "No wonder the picture import doesn't work: the drive is still full." - Jimmy on a PowerPoint bug under wine
24 March 2008: *Jimmy sees a sign for "All-Natural Smoothies".*
Jimmy (to store clerk): "What exactly is an all-natural smoothie?"
Store clerk: "I have no idea."
03 March 2008: "The commodity which flows through this network is victory! I've been waiting all weekend to say that." - Professor Robert Kleinburg on the network flow solution to the baseball elemination problem
24 January 2008: "Are you sure you don't have any pineapple?" - Dasha
23 January 2008: "I am working with you on two projects - at least that I know of …" - Jimmy
22 January 2008: "Chicks can code, too!" - Professor Sally McKee on Ada Lovelace
21 January 2008: "We will be starting with the stable marriage algorithm. This is a good algorithm to start with because it is in section 1.1 of the textbook." - Professor Robert Kleinberg
20 January 2008: "I once understood a setence in Persian." - Jimmy
13 January 2008: "It wasn't in real life; it was in Risley." - Jimmy
09 January 2008: "Okay, Dan, there's an easier way out of this. ... Let me think about easier ways out of this." - Jimmy`
01 January 2008: "This is not an ideal solution. Instead, the -i option should not impose a line length limit, which is why this discussion appears in the BUGS section." - after three paragraph discussion of odd behavior in the GNU xargs man page on Debian Linux
28 December 2007: Jimmy Hartzell: except for now the text colours suck!
Jimmy Hartzell: christmas it is not!
Jimmy Hartzell: well, actually, it is chistmas still.
13 December 2007: "They have strawberries in them. How bad could they be?" - Ailsa
08 December 2007: "I'm considering redefining my class definitions so it's not a side-effect, it's an optimization." - Jimmy
04 December 2007: "Not having Compiz is freaking me out over here. My windows don't wobble, and I want them to." - Jimmy
02 December 2007: "What happens if I walk up to a girl and act vaguely flirtatious while passivizing unaccusatives?" - Jimmy on the important questions in life
17 October 2007: "Obviously, that was not the case, and therefore what I was doing was awesome." - Jimmy
14 October 2007: Dasha: "You guys are like Beavis and Butthead. Well, just like, how you're like, 'ooo chicks'."
Jimmy: "I am not butthead!"
Dasha: "but then again, I'm like, 'ooo chicks' myself."
13 October 2007: "Crazy and awesome are two concepts I have trouble distinguishing." - Jimmy
03 October 2007: "Specifying the gender of a foursome is always interesting." - Jimmy
14 September 2007: "My N64 glasses were tinted atomic purple" - MJRx9000 on NWR forums on seeing the N64 through rose-colored glasses
10 September 2007: "That code is like a simplification of a non-deterministic finite state automaton to a deterministic finite state automaton. Here the extra state means 'I saw a parenthese and have no clue what the fuck to do now.'" - Daniel (context is for the weak)
09 September 2007: "Crap. I just finished a large section of code." - Jimmy (followed by the realization that he needs to write tests)
14 July 2007: Trevor Caira: syntax errors are bad style :P
18 June 2007: (19:23:20) Trevor Caira: crap, i'm low on entropy!
(19:23:26) ***Trevor Caira runs wajig update
(19:24:04) Trevor Caira: there, the world is now a more random place
03 May 2007: "I mean Sonic 2 might represent everything that is wrong with modern society." - Jimmy
24 April 2007: "We're just in the land of constant factors." - CS prof
21 April 2007: "I think I'm confusing you with someone whose birthday is May 22nd." - Jimmy
14 April 2007: (18:01:38) AnyoneEB: hmmm?
(18:02:03) Dorothy: hold on, i'm trying to pick a smiley
09 April 2007: "V for Vendetta ...

... was just a movie people." - /. comment

"No

It was also a comic book!" - reply
05 April 2007: Jimmy: "Vizhu Tibya Nadiu."
Nichole: "Why am I a direct object?"
04 April 2007: "It looks very old. That's one of the reasons I assumed it was in German." - Jimmy
03 April 2007: Jimmy: "I'm a figurativist."
Dan: "That sounds like it should drop a syllable; I'm not sure which one, though."
Jimmy: "I'm a figurine?"
02 April 2007: "I should have just said, 'The time machine hasn't been invented yet.'" - Jimmy on ignorance concerning historical linguistics
01 April 2007: "I hope by the we are, like, thirty, stairs will be obsolete." - overheard on the south step Baker Lab
30 March 2007: "Point being that the underdog in a two horse race is always skating on thin ice.

Wow, three metaphors in one sentence. Very impressive! ;-)" - /. comment
29 March 2007: Dorothy: "You're hyper."
*Jimmy pauses*
Dan: "Working on the implicatures?"
Jimmy: "No, I am trying to finish my second line; I need three more iambs."
24 March 2007: "It's obvious that GNU/Linux is a woman.
She's high maintenance, expects everything to be given to her for free, and no matter what goes wrong... it's your fault.

It's funny, please don't mod me down, just be content that I'll be going straight to hell." - /. comment

"Shit, parent is the most insightful comment on /. in the last 6 months...." - reply
23 March 2007: "<zak> I once almost kissed a girl but then she woke up.. then i woke up" - bash #745565
12 March 2007: "How do we make this readable? We need to keep this code clean. Doing cleanliness audits. Letting Trevor edit the code." - Jimmy
11 March 2007: "If I ever need insanity, I'll call you." - Gregory to Jimmy
10 March 2007: "I'm sorry, I assumed that I'd forgotten everything from high school." - Dorothy
09 March 2007: "Oh my gosh, there's this big floor thing in my room." - Jimmy upon realising that his room was clean
07 March 2007: "You get two checkboxes. *describes them* ... This is sophisticated. Right now you only get one checkbox." - Jimmy
05 March 2007: "big_values too large!" - error message from mpg123
04 March 2007: "Perhaps I'm just getting dumber.

This is the real slashdot effect."
- /. comment by Columcille
03 March 2007: "Perl regular expressions is a strict superset of Perl. ... Without regular expressions." - Jimmy
01 March 2007: "Weren't you guys just talking about programming?" - Dorothy trying to keep track of a conversation of Jimmy and me
28 February 2007: "You do realize that with the way you pronounce ells, I really want to put a silent ee after that double ell." - Jimmy to me
16 February 2007: "It's true: the best puppy dog always wins." - Elise
15 February 2007: "Careful where you throw your shoes. You just missed my laptop." - Daniel (to Jimmy)
14 February 2007: "Oh, 624, it's not a multiple of 11; it should be, though." - Jimmy
13 February 2007: "I get excited whenever I hit a number divisible by 11." - Jimmy
11 February 2007: (21:07:37) Trevor Caira: what's that other XUL-based webbrowser
(21:07:54) Trevor Caira: [ iceweasel is broken for me ]
(21:08:01) Trevor Caira: epiphany!@
06 February 2007: "So basically I'm stating the obvious, but I'm stating the obvious correctly." - Jimmy
05 February 2007: "I don't want to write any code right now for some reason. *pause* I want to write an emulator!" - Jimmy
04 February 2007: "I now know that that EST means Estimated, not Eastern Standard Time." - post by Doodle77 on the release schedule of MegaTokyo
03 February 2007: "Wait, there was a sink right there; I'm sure!" - girl running past Jimmy's room (which happens to be near a sink)
02 February 2007: "Frisbee is more useful; you never know when you need to catch a flying disc." - Jimmy on martial arts
30 January 2007: ".... You can also take over the internet." - Jimmy
29 January 2007: "I wanted to see if ping was really infinite by default. So far, so good." - Trevor
25 January 2007: Kerran: "I've not heard of that before."
Jimmy: "Yeah, it's only used for tragedies."
24 January 2007: "It sounds like someone is doing some evil dentistry in this building or something." - Lady Professor Molly Diesing
19 January 2007: "Gray is a color.
Grey is a colour."
- Itninja (937614)'s .sig
26 December 2006: "That's the original purpose of samiam, anyway: to show how much of an idiot you are." - Trevor
25 December 2006: "C++ has a big list of primes. I don't know how it uses them, but it has them." - Trevor
24 December 2006: "A tautology is a thing which is tautological." - /. QOTD
16 November 2006: ?: "What problem can't be solved by the application of a sufficient quantity of ninjas?"
Andrew: "The halting problem."
- Ring of Steel practice
04 November 2006: "What does i mean to over-analyze something and how do you know when you are doing so?" - Jimmy Hartzell
31 October 2006: * Michael1 kicks a duct-taped ball of C and assembly code out a nearby window
<EBrent> Stoppit.
<Michael1> ?
<EBrent> >:(
<MrAccident> Only you can prevent code abuse.
<MrAccident> Code is like a puppy: don't kick it.
<Michael1> If code is like a puppy, this is the freakin' Cerberus :|
<Michael1> ...I suppose "don't kick it" still holds as good advice
28 October 2006: <MrAccident> Somebody else try going to http://128.95.133.89:31338/
<Penguin> no workie.
<ClumsyRobot> NLA died somehow.
<MrAccident> Penguin: no workie? D:
* Michael1 tries...
<Penguin> ITS ATTEMPTS TO CONNECT ARE ALL IN VAIN.
17 October 2006: <Penguin> it's too bad computers don't understand english
<MrAccident> that's okay, Penguin, neither to programmers
<MrAccident> ...do
<MrAccident> DO
24 September 2006: <poik007> ctrl+u does nothing!
23 September 2006: <GuyInSummers> then again, I've never been sure why we take craps
* GuyInSummers acknowledges the Context is Key sign once again -_-
21 September 2006: "apparently they mirrored the film titanic. most* of the budget was spent CGIing the signs to look right.

hopefully this ends the comparison of twilight princess and titanic.

*dramatisation. may not be true."
- /. on the Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess being mirrored on the Wii
20 September 2006: (22:54:39) Jon: changeToMake = 0.04999999999968327
(22:54:59) Jon: should i just give up and check to see if > .049 instead of >= .05
(22:55:09) AnyoneEB: Uh, Jon, you are forgetting the first two rules of dealing with money in code.
(22:55:31) AnyoneEB: 1. Never use floating point numbers to represent money.
(22:55:44) AnyoneEB: 2. NEVER USE FLOATING POINT NUMBERS TO REPRESENT MONEY.
(22:55:49) Jon: thanks
19 September 2006: "what happens when it runs out of gas?

I'm going to go way out on a limb here and speculate that when it runs out of gas, the engine stops turning."
- /.
16 September 2006: [MrAccident] A mosquito almost bit me
[JeffMan] its not a bug its a feature
06 September 2006: "While searching a bit torrent site for old episodes of La Femme Nikita, I was regaled by an ad which read:
"Can't find La Femme? Buy it on eBay!"

Really. Just a rental as per usual, or an all out purchase?
Can I take it for a test drive?
The shipping would probably be horrendous. I'll bet they sell them "pick up only". Which is, after all, the usual way. So who needs eBay?"
- /.
05 September 2006: ""+ 1 we think you're a terrorist"

Now THAT would be an awesome addition to the Slashdot moderation system!"
- /.
04 September 2006: I'm not that skilled in necromancy, but as far as I can tell, in any system Animate Dead spells work only before the corpse rots away. And in the case of DOS, indeed, they're a tiny bit too late.

I guess it's rather the time for exorcisms now.

Nope, from the d20 SRD---Spells (A)

This spell turns the bones or bodies of dead creatures into undead skeletons or zombies that follow the character's spoken commands.
...
Skeletons: A skeleton can be created only from a mostly intact corpse or skeleton. The corpse must have bones. If a skeleton is made from a corpse, the flesh falls off the bones.

. All you need is the skeleton. Looks like there's hope for DOS yet then.

Plus you'd have a version of DOS that obeys spoken commands.

- /.
23 August 2006: * GuyInSummers looks at a fragment of code from Nightmare (specifically ? "0x%02X - %s" : "%u - %s") and cries tears of fire
<MrTenda> you have a variable called "specifically"...?
<GuyInSummers> :P
<MrA-OVERTHERE> GIS: ?
<GuyInSummers> the tertiary operator
<MrA-OVERTHERE> no, I mean your accelerators
<GuyInSummers> oh
14 August 2006: "google wii

Only on slashdot is that a) a sentence and b) a sentence that won't get you labeled as a pervert. Though Google's lawyers might take you out back and rough you up a bit..."
- /.
12 August 2006: [00:04:39] <Michael1> (No really, they can mean almost anything. As can silence in the real world. There's quiet silence, tense silence, wrathful silence, mournful silence... context is key. There's an analogy to be made to smilies with the descriptor "except on crack" here, but I'm not sure what it is at this hour.)
08 August 2006: * Radiation has joined #pkhax
<AnyoneEB> Good evening, Radiation.
<Radiation> If you're trying to suck my blood, I left my neck at home.
03 August 2006: <GuyInSummers> it's evening unless you just woke up or are getting tired
<GuyInSummers> (in which case it's respectively morning or morning)
30 July 2006: "All this talk of dead bodies is making me hungry." - Charlotte
29 July 2006: "*surprised* Dan, you aren't my mom." - Rob
28 July 2006: <GuyInSummers> mm. I get better radio reception around my thighs than my chest
27 July 2006: "I think there is a world market for maybe five cores." - /.
25 July 2006: * _ has joined #pkhax
<AnyoneEB> Hi, _!
<AnyoneEB> Ha, that line had more punctuation than letters without being random punctuation!
<Penguin> "Hi, _!"?!
<Penguin> that's crazy.
<AnyoneEB> heh
<Penguin> also I think I've won this one
<AnyoneEB> I conceed, Penguin.
14 July 2006: ""Um.. the only sure fire way not to be moderated in a way you don't like is not to post."

This is Slashdot, not Global Thermonuclear Warfare..."
- /.
10 July 2006: <Michael1> Uh... I guess you didn't hear about the budget issues then
<Michael1> You've been relocated to Ellesmere Island
<MrAccident> D:
<MrAccident> That doesn't make sense
<MrAccident> Mountain lions cost money, man
<Michael1> These ones don't. Unless you buy protection contracts from them. I wouldn't, though... pricy buggers.
<Michael1> Now, the walruses... THEY'LL do your mercenary work on time and under budget
<AnyoneEB> Michael1: I would be quite worried about a protection contract not delievered on time.
<Michael1> And rightly so
09 July 2006: <_> Your sprite is generic, Michael1.
<_> Can I give you a beard?
<_> WAIT!
<_> Two beards!
<_> GRILLIANT!
<Michael1> ...Once again, I have no idea to respond to this situation
<Michael1> Other than to scream "GOOD LORD NO" and hide under a rock.
<Michael1> So, without further deliberation...
<Michael1> GOOD LORD NO
[22:54:39] * Michael1 hides under a rock.
18 June 2006: <JeffMan> i got 249 results for 'mario doll' and zero when i added 'acme'
05 June 2006: [20:50:16] <NLA> YOU
[20:50:29] <MrAccident> HELLO
[20:50:43] <aebonyne> LET'S ALL SPEAK IN CAPS.
[20:51:06] <Radiation> HI
[20:51:06] <MrAccident> YES, LET's
[20:51:09] <MrAccident> ...CRAP
04 June 2006: "In Soviet Russia, the government controls the commerce." - /. sig of Opportunist (166417)
01 June 2006: Peter Hurley: im watching the spelling be
28 May 2006: <Yadaman> I'm switching to the irc.dynasty.net server, and not the DynastyNet server I'm on. going to be off for a sec
* Yadaman has quit IRC (Quit: )
<Linkshot> He's gonna be off for more than a sec if he thinks it's irc.dynasty.net
* Yadaman has joined #pkhax
<Yadaman> I meant dynastynet.net
<Yadaman> XD
<Linkshot> Yeah.
<Yadaman> hey, typo. not my fault
22 May 2006: "There are two kinds of people: 1) those who start arrays with one and 1) those who start them with zero." - /. sig of xigxag
19 May 2006: "It puts pressure no the Chinese, pure and simple.

Are you Japanese ?"
- /. comment
16 May 2006: <MrAccident> Wow, NewEgg is fast :O
<MrAccident> The processed my order within 8 hours of the time I placed it, and then transmitted the boxes immediately into my home by matter transference beam
<MrAccident> ...Well, technically only half of that sentence is true
<MrAccident> It was closer to 9 hours
14 May 2006: <MrA-BUYINGEXPENSIVECRAP> Aw, crap
10 May 2006: "Sonic always had branching paths and "steer" is the best term (maybe second to "pray") for what you can do when Sonic is at top speed." - KDR_11k on PGC forums
02 May 2006: <MrAccident> We need to stop Notepad now, before it gains the ability to wield cutlery
27 April 2006: On the "Nintendo Wii" announcement.
<Michael1> An overscore can mean "multiply by 1000", so you could get 5007 with the excuse that someone stole the overscore
<Michael1> In which case, it should be:
<Michael1> _
<Michael1> VVII
<Michael1> ...Though "Nintendo 5007" sounds like a supercomputer out of the 60s
<Michael1> "The new... The powerful... THE NINTENDO 5007! Now with 2 MB of storage space, 32k of memory and a paper tape reader."
24 April 2006: "emerge from stealth mode

For some reason I can't get this to work. I read the man pages but it seems like emerge doesn't have a stealth mode? Let me know if I am missing something here before i go back to Ubuntu."
- /.
17 April 2006: <MrAccident> :O
<MrAccident> So wait
<MrAccident> Did I shoot Radiation because of GIS's mind-control device, or what?
<GuyInSummers> You shot radiation?
<GuyInSummers> Will you marry me?
<MrAccident> D:
<SimonBob> Hott guy-on-mr action in #pkhax
<SimonBob> What have I gotten myself into this time
<MrAccident> ...
<GuyInSummers> ...my first instinct was to respond to that with "...where?! :O~~"
<GuyInSummers> then I realized who he was talking about. -_-;
<SimonBob> :D
16 April 2006: [17:15:42] <Radiation> Well, I dumped my entire computer into one folder and named it "illegal mp3 rom pit of doom with bad things and also system files" even though it doesn't have any mp3s in there.
[17:16:14] <aebonyne> Radiation: Of couse, it's a bad format. I try to only pirate music in OGG or AAC format. ;)
[17:16:30] <Radiation> yay
[17:17:05] <aebonyne> FBI: That was a joke. I, of course, am a law-repecting citizen and do not pirate music.
[17:17:38] <Radiation> FBI: Michael1 is an alien.
15 April 2006: <Radiation> I make a lot of typos when I'm talking.
08 April 2006: <`Frieza> wow you mean even YOU dont understand girls EB_Girl?
07 April 2006: "There are folks who have crossed the line into stalking, and even have restraining orders against them. Some of the fanart and fanfic can get really, uh, interesting too. To take one prominent example, Kirk, Spock and Bones' friendship was extremely close and the rest will be left to your imagination."
- Tevral Jarek, MT forums (ref)
06 April 2006: [21:34:33] * Michael1 proceeds to listen to "Not Roy" on an infinite loop
[21:35:49] <Michael1> Hmm, funny.
[21:35:54] * MrAccident observes that "Not Roy" is an anagram of "No Troy"
[21:36:11] * _ observes MrAccident's desperation for commentary.
[21:36:45] <MrAccident> :O
[21:37:53] <Michael1> It can also be anagrammed into "tyroon", which isn't a word so far as I know, but certainly sounds like one.
05 April 2006: [21:06:23] <MrTenda> MrAccident, what, should I make soda be sprayed at the person when they guess the wrong password?
[21:06:32] <MrAccident> You could do that too
[21:06:43] <MrAccident> Only instead of soda make it hydrochloric acid
[21:06:54] <MrAccident> Or New Coke, whichever
04 April 2006: [20:55:00] <JeffMan|AWAY> !voice
[20:55:00] * ClumsyRobot sets mode: +v JeffMan|AWAY
[20:55:02] <JeffMan|AWAY> !halfop
[20:55:03] * ClumsyRobot sets mode: +h JeffMan|AWAY
[20:55:04] <JeffMan|AWAY> !ban
[20:55:06] <JeffMan|AWAY> :(
03 April 2006: Jon: and bork had a mustache.
Jon: no justices have been confirmed wiht mustaches.
02 April 2006: [21:39:24] <Michael1> Okay, now I made it segfault
[21:39:45] <Michael1> *sigh*
[21:40:36] * Michael1 switches to an infinite loop of GiS' "Mary Had a Little Lamb", sequenced for toilet.
[21:41:58] <Michael1> AHA!
[21:42:02] * Michael1 isolates the problem
[21:42:03] <aebonyne> O_o
[21:42:13] <Michael1> ...Okay, that was odd.
[21:42:45] <Michael1> I just realized that twice in the last two days, I've reached answers to programming problems after making a reference to a toilet in some way.
[21:42:51] <Michael1> Coincidence? Or something more?
[21:43:02] <Michael1> *eerie-five-note-music from EB plays...*
[21:43:06] <Michael1> ;D
30 March 2006: "Man, purses are made for smuggling snacks into movies! If you don't have a chick to go with, you can usually just put a little lipstick and blush on, stuff a purse full of food, and adopt a lisp. They normally don't say anything." - /.
27 March 2006: (22:26:02) Jon: well, i know how to make tomcat work
(22:26:02) Jon: ;)
(22:26:19) ilovemydualg4@mac.com has signed off.
(22:26:25) ilovemydualg4@mac.com has signed on.
(22:26:30) Jon: i also know how to hit command-q instead of command-tab
22 March 2006: "the first window of Dreamweaver - where it asks you what you want to create

Silly question - dreams of course!"
- /. comment
11 March 2006: <EBPlayer5263> Decrypt3 is weird.
<Michael1> :O
<Michael1> Wow. Decrypt3. Haven't thought about that in ages.
<aebonyne> What is decrypt3. That sounds familar...
<aebonyne> That was a question, BTW. Just without a question mark.
<EBPlayer5263> http://pkhack.fobby.net/misc/zip/Decrypt3.zip
<Michael1> Pseudodecryption. Actually, just columns of numbers and stuff.
<DiffyQ> What is Decrypt3? Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more.
09 March 2006: <aebonyne> Good luck on geting BA to show up.
<aebonyne> I haven't heard from him in months.
<Penguin> that's because he's dead
<aebonyne> No, he just has a life and a girlfriend.
<Radiation> Is the girlfriend dead, too?
01 March 2006: in #pkhax on irc.dynastynet.net
<Grayson> I'm more of a lingering ghost.
<EBPlayer5263> I see.
<Grayson> From a better time of antoids and midnight caffeine-induced hacking sessions that would fill this chan full.
<Grayson> Then I turned legal and found the wonders of alcoholism and girls. They killed any free time for hacking.
14 February 2006: [17:43:00] * _ has joined #pkhax
[17:43:00] * AnyoneEB <3 C.
[17:43:27] * _ < 3, _ > -5.
11 February 2006: [23:05:23] <_> MICHAEL1, MAKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE.
[23:05:55] <Michael1> int dreams() { return 1; }
07 February 2006: [17:22:38] <EBrent> :D
[17:23:47] <EBrent> I've invented /rgbbulk!
[17:23:56] <EBrent> It will lead me into the future!
[17:25:59] <EBrent> It takes a list of SNES color values and creates an HTML file with all the colors displayed prettily.
[17:26:46] <EBrent> It seems, the less important something is, the more fun I have making it.
28 January 2006: in #mafia3 on irc.dynastynet.net
[21:44:31] <Radiation> wait
[21:44:47] <Radiation> I just want to clear up that I'm totally townie
[21:44:48] <Radiation> okay done
27 January 2006: in #mafia on irc.dynastynet.net
[22:03:08] <c_c> So, anyoneeb thought he was safe making out with his imaginary girlfriend
[22:03:13] <c_c> WHEN HE WAS STABBED IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD
[22:03:16] * c_c sets mode: -v AnyoneEB
[22:03:24] <c_c> He was a townie
[22:03:34] <Wizenbane> best death note ever.
26 January 2006: in #mafia on irc.dynastynet.net
<MrAccident> Lying about your role is easy.
<MrAccident> I am the walrus.
17 January 2006: <Radiation> What the heck does FORCE do, anyway?
<MrTenda> It does work.
<MrTenda> Unlike my sister :/
11 January 2006: <Gammaraid> What's with Superman
<Gammaraid> if he gets his powers from the sun
<Gammaraid> how come he doesn't become weak when he's underground or something like Birdman
<MrTenda> hi
<MrTenda> er, wrong window
10 January 2006: * Radiation is now known as RadiationSuperHappyFunTimeFrie
<RadiationSuperHappyFunTimeFrie> Okay, I'm going to do my homework.
<RadiationSuperHappyFunTimeFrie> Man, I love the internet because I can say anything and it sounds true.
09 January 2006: "I've been putting Jamie in the wrong place at the wrong time for years." - Lou
08 January 2006: <Radiation> Man, when I'm a frog, there isn't any other option besides sexy frog.
07 January 2006: <MrTenda> I've seen people hack GRUB to play Arkanoid :p
<AnyoneEB> That's disgusting.
<AnyoneEB> I should kick you for mentioning that. ;)
<DiffyQ> You can't.
* MrTenda was kicked by DiffyQ (EVIL)
02 January 2006: <NLA> Cave Story + rn = Cavern Story
<NLA> rn could be like new versions!@
* NLA googles
<NLA> wow, that could easily have been one of the dumbest things Ive ever said
01 January 2006: <NLA[hax0r]> Every now and then, my Windows ME install cd will just appear out of nowhere near where I am
<NLA[hax0r]> Sometimes it will be in my drawer, in my desk here; other times, it will be in my cd stack
<NLA[hax0r]> Like it just wants me to reinstall
<NLA[hax0r]> And I'm like, "No, sorry"
<NLA[hax0r]> "I'm not into s&m like you are"
<NLA[hax0r]> and its like "aww come on <3 u"
21 December 2005: Peter Hurley: mosaic DOES have images
19 December 2005: Lou: I can mod guns, but my skills with computers don't go beond launching them via a catapult
18 December 2005: * AnyoneEB sets mode: -v GuyInWinters
<GuyInWinters> Augh! Laryngitis!
15 December 2005: "Dan retains information. I don't know how he does it. He's like the camel of knowledge." - Charlotte
13 December 2005: <JeffManger|AWAY> and im not getting a ps3 for the sole reason that it has 6 usb ports
07 December 2005: <EBisumaru> ping me, baby
<MrAccident> I tried to ping you, but the packets got scared and ran away
02 December 2005: [20:56:28] <AnyoneEB> What about me? :-p
[20:56:40] <EBrent> You're Any One Eb.
[20:56:41] <Radiation> Anyone E. B. is your full name.
01 December 2005: <Lividkid> It's an innovasion.
<Michael1> ...A new, creative kind of alien conquest?
30 November 2005: "Crouching tiger, hidden letter." - Evan Szonl on his handwriting
27 November 2005: * DiffyQ is now known as CrossProduct
17 November 2005: (21:29:44) Jon: what's in /etc/local/?
(21:30:05) AnyoneEB: ls /etc/local/ ?
(21:30:13) Jon: i deleted it by accident
(21:30:14) Jon: i'm asking you
(21:30:15) Jon: :P
13 November 2005: <aebonyne> !seen AnyoneEB
<ClumsyRobot> Looking for yourself, eh aebonyne?
<aebonyne> Smart robot.
<EBPlayer5263> lol
<Michael1> But how smart? >:D
<Michael1> !seen ClumsyRobot
<ClumsyRobot> You found me, Michael1!
<Michael1> ...too smart. GET THE EMPS!
06 November 2005: (00:51:15) Peter Hurley: anyway, goodnight
(00:51:24) AnyoneEB: ok, g'night
(00:51:29) Peter Hurley: and thanks for all the fish
(00:51:30) Peter Hurley logged out.
05 November 2005: <GuyInSummers> mm... has the guard of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington ever actually had to guard the tomb?
<GuyInSummers> is there a proper procedure? like, is the guard supposed to shoot, wait 21 seconds, then resume or something?
01 November 2005: <GuyAway> So I've got two objects connected by a string passing through every physics teacher's favorite patented frictionless pulley
31 October 2005: "Are you a member of the mafia?" - Kari to Chris Cerami
30 October 2005: [16:46:12] <aebonyne> wait a minute... I'm not away!
[16:46:12] * aebonyne is back from -- school -- AutoEB
[16:46:13] * aebonyne is now known as AnyoneEB
[16:46:49] <GuyInSummers> I, however, now am.
[16:46:51] * GuyInSummers is now known as GuyAway
24 October 2005: <GuyInSummers> tragedy aside, it's hard not be impressed by the potential concept of Hurricane Omega.
23 October 2005: <Penguin> interesting note: an apple weighs 1 newton
22 October 2005: [21:02:26] <MrTenda> There's a "me" in team
[21:07:04] <SimonBob> There's a "BS" in "SimonBob"
[21:07:07] <SimonBob> ... :(
17 October 2005: "I keep thinking he's really smart, but then I realise he has a computer." - Kari talking about Arpan
14 October 2005: (17:34:52) AnyoneEB: dd if=whatever.bin of=/dev/fd0
(17:34:59) Jon: that's it
(17:34:59) Jon: really
(17:35:02) AnyoneEB: Yep
(17:35:17) AnyoneEB: Oh, yeah, don't forget options=donotblowup
(17:35:50) Jon: dd if=Desktop/NF4K8MC\ Folder/4BTW1P30.BIN of=/dev/disk2 options=donotblowup
dd: unknown operand options
(17:36:02) AnyoneEB: Thanks.
(17:36:27) Jon: :(
(17:36:40) AnyoneEB: I was kidding about the options=DoNotBlowUp
(17:36:46) Jon: oh
13 October 2005: * Radiation was kicked by ClumsyRobot (STEALTH (Michael1))
<Michael1> ...
<Michael1> Stealthy as a BRICK
10 October 2005: <GuyInSummers> ..contrary to this message board's spellchecker, I did in fact mean "Timpani", not "Tampon". -_-
09 October 2005: "Bjarne Stroustrup : why so many people use "C++" just as "C" ?
Dennis Ritchie : because you named the language "C++", not "++C""
- /.
04 October 2005: (On Animal Crossing GCN's NES games.)
<Penguin> ah never mind, they aren't emulated
<Penguin> *are
<Penguin> in fact, I extracted the games from it and I'm now playing them in fce ultra
03 October 2005: "<Mifuyne> how old is your iBook anyway?
<+indigo> 4 years.
<+indigo> :-P
<Mifuyne> ah
<~Delta> jeez
<~Delta> that thing was made before the war"
- bash.org #542591
01 October 2005: [17:28:33] <GuyInSummers> Again, I've never actually taken prob/stats. Anyone has; he'd be able to help you more than I.
[17:40:36] <AnyoneEB> GuyInSummers: Did you construct that sentence as you did simply for the purpose of obfuscating the reason for the 'a' in Anyone to be capitalized?
[17:41:27] <GuyInSummers> ^_^ nah, I assumed that Anyone is always you 'cuz anybody who isn't anyone is 'anybody'
25 September 2005: <Michael1> I personally suspect whoever did this was being possessed by demonic data forces.
24 September 2005: <GuyInSummers> mm, well, I got this cool idea for a program that can help solve world problems by geometric modelling
<Michael1> What sort of problems?
<GuyInSummers> ...which I didn't have any more time to work on yet than I did for Nightmare -_-;
<GuyInSummers> *shrug* Ideally, any physics/math word
problems. Ideally this will be many times more difficult to program
than Nightmare. Exponentially more difficult.
* Michael1 blinks
<Michael1> OH!
<Michael1> Now I see.
<Michael1> You typoed "word" in your first sentence.
<GuyInSummers> ...XD oooh
<GuyInSummers> heh, now THAT would have been an undertaking.
<Michael1> "This program will solve the physics/math word problems that have plagued our cities and lands!" *pulls lever*
<GuyInSummers> ^_^
* Michael1 cuts the camera view to orbit
<Michael1> *image of a swirling, garbled mass of intertwined mathematical equations and words, a boil of chaotic paper-thin symbols*
* Michael1 watches a beam of white light burst forth from the planet's surface, striking the boil of equation
* Michael1 watches the letters, visible in solar reflection, flare into hundreds of colours and resolve, vanishing as the solutions form
<Michael1> *cut to big celebrations in major cities across the world*
<Michael1> (END)
23 September 2005: "I am not a complusive liar." - Jonbell
22 September 2005: "Somebody come here and solve for y." - Daimon looking for homework help
21 September 2005: "coz my crazy dog chases laser pointer dots. Once I bought a couple of pens, she associated them. Now whenever anyone picks up a pen in my house she starts barking and running around looking for the dot. Hours, HOURS of amusement." - /.
20 September 2005: (In cafe for study hall.)
Rob: "Just take off the shirt."
Lou: "I almost did that already."
15 September 2005: "thats not insane. thats normal wierd!" - Amy (defending herself)
14 September 2005: "*hand signals 'I'm watching you.'; pauses* The ears have walls." - Mike Sk.
13 September 2005: <MrTenda> My English instructor (today): "This [reading annotation] exercise is really going to help a lot of you out. I mean, I'm still going to make you do it whether it does or doesn't, but it will really help some of you a lot."
12 September 2005: "'Liberté, egalité, fraternité' also makes for an interesting order of priorities." - /. sig of Guppy06
07 September 2005: "... Uhh... Who was I yelling at?" - Jonbell
02 September 2005: <Radiation> If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put the "I" and the "U" closer together.
31 August 2005: * Michael1 scrawls a note: "Someone at Data East was a Huffman coding fetishist"
27 August 2005: <Michael1> ...
<Michael1> I know it's probably just chance
<Michael1> But somehow, I'm compelled to take it personally when a code change changes the output from "You" to "hehe"
24 August 2005: [01:51:16] <GuyInSummers> whoo. I'm at that point where sleep-deprivation and hours of straight coding lead to a feeling of just flowing through the source, bending it with one's mind. :)
[01:54:42] <MrAccident> Until you look at it tomorrow.
[01:54:58] <GuyInSummers> that's why I must finish today ^_^
[01:55:55] <MrAccident> XD
23 August 2005: <MrAccident> although I suppose teaching yourself Visual Basic would probably be much better than having someone else teach it to you
<MrAccident> at least you'll stop after you lose consciousness
22 August 2005: <GuyInSummers> ah. got cought up in that "real life", I see
<Grayson> Yeah, real life sucks.
<GuyInSummers> heh
<Grayson> I wholly recommend against it.
15 August 2005: "Cool, it didn't blow up." - Daniel
12 August 2005: "There's a lot of stuff that is in no way related to hula-hoops." - Peter
07 August 2005: "I love looking out the window when I'm asleep." - Keith
04 August 2005: "When you are solving a problem, don't worry. Now, after you have solved the problem, then that's the time to worry." - Richard Feynman
02 August 2005: "You should not attempt to visualize a vector whose components are complex numbers." - linear algebra reading
18 July 2005: [22:59:58] <NLA> When was Visual Basic first created?
[23:00:22] <AnyoneEB> Copyright 1987-1998
[23:00:28] <GuyInSummers> 1999 AD. And when it arrived, lava erup...
[23:00:34] <AnyoneEB> heh
[23:00:37] <GuyInSummers> aw, you ruined my lavos/VB joke ;)
02 July 2005: "It's late enough that you can walk up to strangers." - Peter @ 2:20 in Harvard Yard
01 July 2005: "Stupid people are the dumbest ever." - Keith
23 June 2005: <Michael1> You're on cashews again?! So much for THAT twelve-step program...
22 June 2005: "
I have some time on my hands at the moment as I await my pizza...

I don't know why, but this line cracks me up. happy.gif I guess I just don't normally hear "await" and "pizza" in the same sentence." - MT forums
16 June 2005: <Radiation2Ripped> That would be SO funny it's not even... uh... not funny.
10 June 2005: "That's a pretty bad 'R' you got there."
"That's also a pretty bad 'D'. Wait, that's an 'O'."
- sub and Meesh
09 June 2005: Scott: "We should measure the growth of trees. The three-dimensional growth of trees."
Daniel: "Trees tend to be three-dimensional."
Meesh: "Unless they are binary search trees."
08 June 2005: "In other news, "shy" was seen in #hacker, #trivia, #terrorists and #ninja on Efnet. :o" - topic of #pkhax on irc.dynastynet.net
05 June 2005: <MrAccident> as long as there aren't any ninjas at the con
<MrAccident> I won't have to kill anyone
04 June 2005: "
Are you trying to tell me, MS coders are so amazing that it only took them 2 bytes of data to program all these features?

-SJ53

Yeah, sounds impressive at first, but closer examination reveals that those 2 bytes are actually metric bytes with 10 bits each.
Clever bastards." - /.
03 June 2005: "I don't care if it's 90,000 hectares. That lake was not my doing." - /.
30 May 2005: "The monitor is making… monitor sounds." - Nathan troubleshooting a KVM setup
26 May 2005: * NLA jams to Ride On Shooting Star - The Pillows - FLCL
<AnyoneEB> NLA: Do you have any other songs?
<NLA> AEB: Sure do.
* NLA stops jamming to an all-time classic and switches to Crazy Sunshin - The Pillows in spite of AEB >:|
<NLA> ...
<AnyoneEB> :)
* NLA stops jamming to Crazy Sunshin and starts jamming to Crazy Sunshine
23 May 2005: "The Shuttle is now going five times the sound of speed. -- Dan Rather, first landing of Columbia" - /. QOTD
18 May 2005: (2005-05-18 20:09:42) Mike Duk: daaaan!!! STAR WARS!!!
(2005-05-18 20:09:42) AnyoneEB : I'm sorry TheChordsOfLife, I am not available because I am not here right now.
(2005-05-18 20:09:46) Mike Duk: i'm dressed
(2005-05-18 20:11:28) Mike Duk: its pitiful though
(2005-05-18 20:11:32) Mike Duk: the colors are completely off
(2005-05-18 20:11:46) Mike Duk: it's like i invented my own side of the force..

(later)
(21:30:14) Mike Duk: yoda wouldn't approve of the colors but he's dead
(21:30:27) Mike Duk: and umm... not real
14 May 2005: [02:14:03] <GuyInSummers> Only one slow song at a prom?
[02:14:16] <AnyoneEB> Yeah
[02:14:23] * AnyoneEB was surprised as well.
[02:14:30] <GuyInSummers> Mm. You should have thrown something at the DJ.
[02:14:45] <AnyoneEB> ... if I knew any songs...
[02:15:10] <GuyInSummers> Mm, actually I meant, like, a brick. But requests would have worked too.
13 May 2005: [16:48:33] * AnyoneEB is away -- ddr -- AutoEB
[16:48:33] * AnyoneEB is now known as aebonyne
[16:48:47] <aebonyne> (Need to practice my dancing before prom. ;)
[16:49:54] <GuyInSummers> XD
11 May 2005: <Gau> BRONTE = SUCK
06 May 2005: <MrAccident> MrTenda: ...color coding?
<AnyoneEB> based on euler's number?
<MrTenda> yeah... I'm coloring each enemy 2x2 area differently (depending on the group)
<NLA> :O
<MrTenda> yeah (:
<AnyoneEB> Why not Pi?
<MrAccident> heh
<NLA> <3 Pi
<MrTenda> AnyoneEB, I tried, but the colors weren't as nice
<AnyoneEB> ... you're serious, are\'t you?
<MrTenda> yeah, I am
05 May 2005: "Crimson Seiko: Maybe a newer version of AIM obliterated the future?
Crimson Seiko: * feature"
- bash.org #498482
04 May 2005: "<ChapelPaige> Oh tell me why, do we build castles in the sky?
<@Apoc> to make them harder to assault
<ChapelPaige> ...good point.
<@Apoc> Lets see you get a trebuchet up here bitch"
- bash.org #496748
03 May 2005: <Gau> He probably works for the CIA
<GuyInSummers> ^_^; That would expalin it, but I dunno how suited he is for that. He's a lot like me.
<Gau> Heh
<GuyInSummers> He once spaced out and walked right into an open seven-foot pit. -_-;
02 May 2005: <GuyInSummers> Good afternoon Diffy
<DiffyQ> Hey.
<GuyInSummers> I solved one of you today :)
<DiffyQ> lol
<GuyInSummers> You were first-order and seperable, but you were the first one ever, so it was a benchmark.
<DiffyQ> Ah.
01 May 2005: (22:04:25) Amy: i think this must be lwhat your brain feels like on drugs
30 April 2005: "If you are taking a course in calculus, you may be surprised to learn how useful it can be in the real world (e.g., chemistry)." - a footnote in Chemistry: Principles and Reactions by Masterton and Hurley (fourth edition, chapter 11.3, p. 321)
28 April 2005: "I actually asked a girl at a club how she would rate me on a scale of 3 to 18. She said 17 so I pulled out a 20 sider and rolled. Then I said I passed my charisma check so you have to dance with me. It actually worked! That's what happens when you start the night with drinking and D&D before going to the club." - /.
27 April 2005: <MrTenda> I can't see the Great Wall of China on google maps :/
26 April 2005: <GuyInSummers> Important Note to Developers: Please remember that the Destroy() API call will free up space previously used by a pointer, whereas the Destroy() will obliterate your computer and all bystanders. Code carefully.
21 April 2005: "XML is like violence. If it doesn't solve the problem, use more." - /. comment
19 April 2005: <BlackLeader> Aack, the trinary operator! Hide the children!
18 April 2005: (datestamp: 2005-04-18)
(08:04:55) James: I havn't used menus in about 13 years
(08:05:01) James: they are sooooo 1996
(08:05:04) James: /valley girl
17 April 2005: (NOTE: They are trying to not use the letter 'e'.)
<ChunLi> What kind of soda did you obtain?
<YayInsomnia> Draw a conclusion from my colors.
<ChunLi> I am colourblind.
14 April 2005: Linda: "I have a calculus date with Dan."
Mr. Bright: "Anything to make math more interesting."
13 April 2005: Amy Steinmetz: "You forgot what?"
Scott: "Snack."
Amy Steinmetz: "Fuck you."
12 April 2005: <Commando125> Story: The main character goes to order some pizza. The main character sits around until the pizza is done. When the pizza is done, the main character says thx and goes home. When he goes home, he wonders where his special Hawaiian necklace is that he wears every day and treasures. He knew he put it on his bedroom table. When he got there, he saw his necklace being swiped by a shadowy figure. His mission = Get his necklace back.
<Commando125> But who did it?
<Radiation> XD
<n42> what's the point of the pizza part
<Radiation> YOU FOOL THE PIZZA STOLE THE NECKLACE
11 April 2005: <GuyInSummers> "Clinophobia - Fear of going to bed."
<GuyInSummers> well THAT could get in the way of a normal life.
<poik007> o.o
<poik007> I thought it was the fear of President Clinton
10 April 2005: <Michael1> Do you have a flyswatter, heavy textbook or plasma cannon handy?
08 April 2005: Mrs. Asperelli: "I have no hand-eye coordination. How do you teach someone something like that?"
Robert P.: "Throw things at them."
07 April 2005: <MrAccident> well, first, when I got out of the car in the college parking lot this morning
<GuyInSummers> wait, wait.
<MrAccident> I was about to start walking, but then I saw a seagull coming in over head
<GuyInSummers> if this is a chain of bizarre events that ends in fortune, you need to start with "ate a Snickers".
05 April 2005: <EBisumaru> Magnets.
<EBisumaru> Maybe that's what the Revolution is.
02 April 2005: My favorite lines from Hamlet (both insults said to Claudius):

Hamlet:
"King. Where is Polonius?
Ham. In heaven. Send thither to see. If your messenger find him
not there, seek him i' th' other place yourself. But indeed, if
you find him not within this month, you shall nose him as you go
up the stair, into the lobby." (IV, iii, 36-41)

Ophelia:
"I would
give you some violets, but they wither'd all when
my father died. They say he made a good end." (IV, v, 207-209)
01 April 2005: (Gau is describing the Japanese language/writing system)
<DiffyQ> Wow, that's like English, only much, much weirder.
31 March 2005: "How can you have cherry Dr. Pepper? Isn't that a bit redundant? It is like saying cola Coke-a-Cola or not orange orange soda." - Jonbell
30 March 2005: "He is considered a most graceful speaker who can say nothing in the most words." - /. QOTD
28 March 2005: "The light at the end of the tunnel might be an oncoming train." - topic of #earthbound on irc.dynastynet.net
27 March 2005: [17:13:26] <MrTenda> ping -f 24.8.142.233
[17:13:29] * DiffyQ has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
[17:13:29] <MrTenda> er, wrong window
26 March 2005: <GuyInSummers> hey, you know what hasn't occured to me yet?
<GuyInSummers> microwaves.
25 March 2005: "A word to the wise: if you read this book in one sitting, you may die of information overload (and starvation). --Therese Littleton" - Amazon.com's review of Cryptonomicon
23 March 2005: Lou talking about a water fountain: "it's not that cool, but very high, kinda like half the kids in our school"
22 March 2005: <GuyInSummers> and the Nuclear course is mostly just about what an 'informed citizen should know', not a real in-depth study
<NLA> oh
<NLA> we need in-depth
21 March 2005: "Main's Law: For every action there is an equal and opposite government program." - /. QOTD
20 March 2005: "<Kira> Tuesday was Groundhog Day and the State of the Union Address. As Air America Radio pointed out, it is an ironic juxtaposition: one involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication and the other involves a groundhog." - bash.org #475920
17 March 2005: "Eureka! The ultimate missing option has to be "Dread Pirate"! But youve got to have a decent name to go with the title. Dread Pirate Chuck just wont work." - /.
15 March 2005: <Gau> Next semester I'm taking Math 1300 (Calc and Analytic Geometry), WRTG 1150 (1st-Year Writing and Rhetoric),JPNS 1021 (Japanese 2nd Semester), and ASTR 2270 (Black Holes)
<MrAccident> they have an entire class for black holes? :o
<aebonyne> A course deacated(sp?) to black holes?
<GuyInSummers> nifty, rhetoric.
14 March 2005: <Michael1> Heh. If you could, at least one person SOMEWHERE would try for a day of entirely Lunch blocks.
<GuyInSummers> XD
<Michael1> "You're supposed to have four classes and a lunch! You've got four lunches and a class!"
<GuyInSummers> heh, I'd try that on April 1st if I had a spare selection sheet
<GuyInSummers> Survey of Lunch" "Fundamentals of Lunch" "College Prep Lunch
<GuyInSummers> just to see the reaction, of course. :D
<Gau> Lunch is a lot harder in college :P
13 March 2005: <GuyInSummers> that reminds me of when that chipmunk tried to jump from that tree to a nearby one and actually missed. I mean, how often to you actually see that?
12 March 2005: [18:13:31] <NLA> that message blows my cover.
[18:14:00] <NLA> for you see, my true identity is...
[18:14:17] * NLA is now known as MrPirate
[18:14:17] <board> Link?
11 March 2005: <aebonyne> MrTend?
<MrTend> yeah?
<aebonyne> You missing a?
<MrTend> uh... yeah, I was going to ask you for yours...
* aebonyne is now known as ebonyne
* MrTend is now known as MrTenda
<MrTenda> thanks man you rock
10 March 2005: "Forgive my inexperience, but how does anyone get the Suicide Bomber class past level 1?" - /.
09 March 2005: "Even if I had fifty pears reviewing my code bugs are going to slip in because they don't fully understand what I am writing.

Well, that's because pears can't code worth a darn. You should be using oranges. I know some people will hold out for bananas, but I've never had good luck with them; they're too fickle. Oranges will get the job done every time." - /.
08 March 2005: "Anonymous-san: okay so there's these two strings, right
Anonymous-san: They walk into a bar
Anonymous-san: The first string says
Anonymous-san: Hello, I'd like a rum and cokerhe7954454gh2kjn.,.43>>[][]21?24
Anonymous-san: The second string says
Anonymous-san: You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated"
- bash.org #469064
07 March 2005: "Your hamster might, despite some encouraging first steps, never be
able to fully grasp the concept of Logical Markup." - LaTeX guide list of disadvantages
06 March 2005: "The version number of TEX is converging to pi and is now at 3.14159."
05 March 2005: "Apple is not a color!" - Jon Bell while playing LAN iSketch
04 March 2005: (In school cafe, across table)
Huxley: "My Zen is coming tomorrow."
Me: "What?"
Huxley: "My Zen is coming tomorrow."
Me: "What?"
Huxley: "I'm getting a 50 GB one."
Me: "Oh, a Creative Zen."
Huxley: "What did you think I meant? A Tibetan monk?" *begins zen/meditation hum*
Me: "I don't know." *while beginning to laugh/cry uncontrollably*
01 March 2005: <Michael1> "Mrahjionatep."
<Michael1> (Random letters, folks.)
<GuyInSummers> sounds like "Mahjong Inept"
28 February 2005: <GuyInSummers> I have a sauterless breadboard
<GuyInSummers> er
<GuyInSummers> solderless
<GuyInSummers> damn phoenetics
<MrAccident> *phonetics
27 February 2005: Robert P.: i figured it out when i was troubleshooting it
Robert P.: i.e. throwing the reciever against the wall when i couldnt figure it out
26 February 2005: <GuyInSummers> Frictionless surface?
<GuyInSummers> You're forced to calculate the physics of a physically impossible situation?
<Michael1> We prefer to call it an IDEAL situation. :P
25 February 2005: "Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
IN SOVIET RUSSIA
poems write YOU!" - /.?
24 February 2005: Ben: crap I don't know any of these people...
AnyoneEB: heh
Ben: like I know who they are but
Ben: heres a sample IM convo
Ben: Me: "Hi I know you don't know who I am but would you like to come to my house?"
Her: "Wtf?"
18 February 2005: <SimonBob> Yeah I can't even call it "SFA" because that's StarFox Adventures
<SimonBob> I'll call this one SF-ASS
<AnyoneEB> Why not?
<AnyoneEB> SFA was a pretty good game. SFA sucks.
<SimonBob> rofl
<SimonBob> It works on so many levels
17 February 2005: " Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?

Phillip Glass" - /.
16 February 2005: "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak........." - /.
15 February 2005: * Tokage is now known as DiffyQ
<DiffyQ> This nick is just better.
<GuyInSummers> It reminds me of Dairy Queen.
11 February 2005: "There was a joke in Communist Poland a while ago.
An old jew has 1000 zlotys (Polish currency). A guy from the local savings bank advises that he should put it in the bank.
- But what if the bank goes bankrupt? the jew asks
- The savings in the bank are guaranteed buy the Polish state!
- But what if the state goes bankrupt?
- Then your savings would be guaranteed by the whole league of Socialist nations, led by Soviet Union!
- But what if the Soviet Union goes bankrupt?
- Well, would you really be sorry to sacrifice 1000 zlotys for that?" - /.
07 February 2005: How to deal with Dell Tech support brought to you by /.
05 February 2005: <MrAccident> btw, I didn't make a mistake, I just did (unsigned int)((32 - 48)^0x7FFFFFFF+1) inadvertently
04 February 2005: [23:46:43] <YayInsomnia> I'm telnetting :D
03 February 2005: <MrTenda> in my science class, we're learning about ozone depletion and global climate change...
<MrTenda> * The World rolls a saving throw. Success!
27 January 2005: <Gau> General care items (socks, underwear, CD-Rs, laundry detergent, etc)
25 January 2005: "Paranoia: the belief that someone cares." - ? (posted on /.)
24 January 2005: "My password's set to my dog's name.

My dog's name is currently 4$ter*Zf1, but I change it every 90 days." - /.
23 January 2005: "<Kali-I> I'm so 1336!" - bash.org #449156
22 January 2005: http://images8.fotki.com/v145/photos/2/23376/93737/mordor-vi.gif
21 January 2005: "I have a theory. The theory runs that there is no question or statement that can not be answered by either a bash.org quote, a dilbert comic or a penny-arcade comic." - /. post
17 January 2005: "I will watch Revenge of the Sith because:

Because I have no sense of pattern recognition." - post on /. poll
16 January 2005: <MrAccident> the entire Win32 API seems to be structured in such a way as to encourage registry-barfing
14 January 2005: Daniel: "Is that metaphysics?"
Joel: "I'm not sure. Probably metaphysics: my head hurts."
13 January 2005: "I am Jeremiadine: i just left a message on smith's cellphone in binary
Sela: Fun.
I am Jeremiadine: yeah
I am Jeremiadine: the best part is even if he decodes it it's in french
I am Jeremiadine: ...i'm bored"
- bash.org #441975
12 January 2005: Jon: i'll s3nd h0t p1x
Jon: wups
Jon: disregard that
10 January 2005: "* maria hurts
<maria> and whenever i close my eyes i can see scrolling arrows and hear j-pop
<peterS> the first step toward getting rid of a ddr addiction is to admit that you have a problem
<maria> yes, i do
<maria> one of the pads is broken"
- bash #205394
09 January 2005: "Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle science fiction." - /. QOTD
08 January 2005: "Why am I drunk again?" - Jon
07 January 2005: <Popple> LDA [$C6],Y <--wtf? would this be reading from $C6YYYY?
<GuyInSummers> Popple: That's direct page indirect long indexed y addressing :D
<GuyInSummers> the most adjectival addressing mode of them all :D
(I'm not sure what's worse: that such an addressing mode actually exists on the 65816 or that I actually know what that means.)
06 January 2005: <Michael1> Hmm. How would Yoda deliver an "In Soviet Russia" joke? *mindbend*
<GuyInSummers> Hmm... Yoda uses object-subject-verb...
<GuyInSummers> Yakov uses object-verb-subject...
<GuyInSummers> And the norm is subject-verb-object.
<GuyInSummers> So if Yoda(x, y, z) = z + x + y...
<GuyInSummers> And Yakov(x, y, z) = z + y + x...
<Michael1> Feed the output of one into the other function, I suppose
<GuyInSummers> so, Yoda(Yakov(x, y, z)) equals...
<Michael1> Normal(x,y,z) -> Yoda(z,x,y) -> Yakov(y,x,z)
<Michael1> I think
<GuyInSummers> xzy, or subject-object-verb.
<poik007> I am afraid now
<Michael1> Which translates as...?
<GuyInSummers> So, young Jedi, in Soviet Russia, road you forks.
05 January 2005: "When you go outside, you should say 'Oh my god, the enviroment is stealing my heat!'" - Mr. Jacobs
04 January 2005: "because I started at 12 myseld"

You know it's time to get out of the house when instead of reading "myself" you read "mysqld".
03 January 2005: [19:11:36] <Michael1> And now, the Two Great Secrets of Power.
[19:11:43] <Michael1> 1. Never tell all that you know.
[19:13:52] <Michael1> ...that works a LOT better in a written unchanging medium like a message board post. -_-
02 January 2005: <GuyInSummers> wait a sex
<GuyInSummers> er
<GuyInSummers> sex
<GuyInSummers> er
<GuyInSummers> what the blazing hell damn this new keyboard
<GuyInSummers> sec
01 January 2005: <GuyInSummers> If there are any time-warping gloves, I'm going to break your nose.
31 December 2004: <Michael1> QUICK, SET IT ON FIRE
<Michael1> OR YOU'LL SCREW UP CAUSALITY!
30 December 2004: "You got a E. That's worse than F. Wait... F is after E." - Brenna on DDR scoring
29 December 2004: <MrAccident> oops
<MrAccident> I put this in there: "for(unsigned char i = 0; i < 256; i++)" XD
28 December 2004: <GuyInSummers> I was at supper.
<GuyInSummers> Didn't -anybody- think I blew myself up?
27 December 2004: <Michael1> /..? The directory above the root? AUGH! MY BRAIN!
26 December 2004: "<Mewten> video games are now making us nerds do things we would never do in other situations: Dance (DDR), Play an instrument (Samba de Amigo), and now, GO OUTSIDE. Pretty soon we'll be like normal people" - bash.org #118772
25 December 2004: <GuyInWinters> heh, she's lucky to have somebody who can actually hold up a conversation for over an hour. girls apparently love my ability to do that.
<GuyInWinters> they won't date me, but they love talking to me.
24 December 2004: <GuyInWinters> ha! what a triumph for percussive maintennance!
<JeffManger> ?
<GuyInWinters> My DVD drive wouldn't come out, so I punched the computer.
<GuyInWinters> It came right out. :D
23 December 2004: "If your computer has a IP address; your Microsoft is probably infected with a virus horse from one of the internets." - /.
19 December 2004: <MrTenda> did you know that MEXICO is planning to INVADE _LOUISIANA_?!?!
<BlueStone> bummer
18 December 2004: (Note: aebonyne is my IRC away nick.)
<aebonyne> Some reason you spelt "Configuration" wrong?
<MrAccident> I didn't spell "Configumaration" wrong
<aebonyne> ...
<MrAccident> It's a perfectly cromulent word
17 December 2004: "Turn that smile upside-down. Err, wait..." - Jon
15 December 2004: Mr. Bright (English teacher): "'A rolling stone gathers no moss.' What is the moral here? What are we supposed take away from this?"
Mike Debrowsky: "The moss?"
14 December 2004: <GuyInSummers> The WordPen is a cause of hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia :o
<EBisumaru> fear of seventeen-toed hippopotami?
10 December 2004: "A weird imagination is most useful to gain full advantage of all the features." - bugs list in man screen
08 December 2004: <MrAccident> brb - final exam
02 December 2004: Me: "Wait... you weren't trying to be evil?"
Jon: "No, I'm inherently evil."
01 December 2004: <GuyInSummers> like when I tried to give up caffeine for lent, and then three days in I rememberd I didn't believe in God
29 November 2004: (quoting himself) <GuyInSummers> "I enjoy mathematics and making things explode into hundreds of pieces. These courses challenge me..."
24 November 2004: "Power corrupts. PowerPoint corrupts absolutely." - /. sig
12 November 2004: "Free speech is the right to shout "Theater!" in a crowded fire." - one of BlueAntoid's IRC quit messages
07 November 2004: <BlueAntoid> Well, I'm sure you heard about my new girlfriend on the news
<BlueAntoid> Abnormal cold front in the seventh circle of hell, on the trailing edge of a flying pig migration? :P
06 November 2004: "SETI: "So, uh, just out of curiosity, did you guys prove the Riemann Hypothesis yet? I mean we're totally stuck on it, none of us have a clue."

Aliens: "Oh. Uh, actually we invented interstellar travel and supralight communications and made contact with your species solely so we could ask you the same question. Dang. It's been driving us nuts."

SETI: "Yeah, us too."

lengthy, awkward pause"
- /.
04 November 2004: "Thank you, Josh, for being the only one here not trying to win the Hellen Keller award." - Mr. Jacobs
03 November 2004: "It's like that game Oragon Trail. It's the third day of lab. Someone(?) has a broken leg." - CJ during lab
27 October 2004: Brenton: "How does the desert get bigger?"
Duk: "It's imperialistic."
22 October 2004: "Per standard video game rules, once the Red Sox beat the big boss and win the World Series, they need to travel back in time and take on the 1986 Mets, the ultimate boss character.

Then, and only then, do they get the really cool ending with the epilogue where Pedro Martinez finally avenges the death of his father and Johnny Damon meets up with Eliza." - /. (posted on on Thursday October 21, @09:22 (#10585495))
21 October 2004: "I never got secret police; if they're so secret, why are you always hearing about them?" - Jon
20 October 2004: "The problem with rubber cement and high school students is you give it to level three students and they're sniffing it on the side." - Mr. Jacobs
14 October 2004: "Read myself journal when you are not understand. I am German and don't attack English!

Buddy...if that isn't an attack on English, I don't know what is." - /.
13 October 2004: "My senior slide started in sixth grade." - Charlotte (although Maureen claims attribution)
08 October 2004: "I was waiting for him [Bush] to say "phantasmagoric"" - Jon
07 October 2004: "Definitely should give sticks of deodorant as prizes for you DDR freaks :-D" - Atticus (of starmen.net)
05 October 2004: “And if you haven’t seen those three Star Wars movies, either see them or leave the country” - Mr. Bright, English Teacher
02 October 2004: <Michael1> The problem with the Socratic Method is it's ill-suited to memorization: "Also it's useless for stuff like learning state capitals: "Okay, so Michigan is a state. Where is it? What kind of capital do you think it might have?""
30 September 2004: "Good thing I don't have a life." - Jamie vanDyck
29 September 2004: "You don't go to the supermarket and see '3 for the square root of 2 dollars.'" - Mr. Geary
28 September 2004: "It's the National Honor Society." - Mr. Jacobs complaining about people needing signatures for NHS
24 September 2004: "<oobey> my school year is off to a great start
<oobey> I was in the back of my physics auditorium, trying not to fall completely asleep. The professor asks a question about what method we use when doing math in science, so to pretend like I'm not falling alseep, I shout out "sig figs"
<oobey> I then open my eyes and realize the prof is currently talking about vectors and scalars, so the question was dreamed, but the answer was not, and the entire class has come to a complete stop now
<oobey> at this point I'm at a loss as to what to do, so I pick up my bag and walk out without saying another word"
- bash.org #402200
20 September 2004: Hurricanes against Bush voters.
18 September 2004: "It's much better to block the code out with a #if 0, #endif pair, and a good comment at the top. Of course, this kind of thing should always be a temporary thing, unless the blocked out code fulfills some amazing documentation purpose." - Mozilla C++ portability guide
17 September 2004: "I've officially decided that America should not have won World War II." - Joel
15 September 2004: "Only your brakes can stop your vehicle." - CT Driver's Manual
11 September 2004: "Microsoft is a cross between The Borg and the Ferengi. Unfortunately they use Borg to do their marketing and Ferengi to do their programming. -- Simon Slavin" - alt.sysadmin.recovery
10 September 2004: Dragon Tails on educational games
08 September 2004: "Just spray some Lindex on a lint-free cloth.

Did I just say Lindex?" - Jon
05 September 2004: "Matter cannot be created or destroyed, nor can it be returned without a receipt."
02 September 2004: <Michael1> Hmm, according to the #pkhax topic, GiS has proudly aligned himself with the forces of evil.
<Michael1> Which raises one more question. Law, Neutral or Chaotic Evil? ;D
<GuyInSummers> also known as Visual Basic -_-
* Michael1 silently ticks "Chaotic"
31 August 2004: ""So you're one of Jehovah's Witnesses. I'm Cthulhu's defence lawyer - prepare for cross-questioning" -- Tanuki" - alt.sysadmin.recovery
30 August 2004: " While preceding your entrance with a grenade is a good tactic in Quake, it can lead to problems if attempted at work.

C Hacking" - alt.sysadmin.recovery
29 August 2004: " I've pondered the possible use of Runes for setting initial passwords.

"Your new password is Hagalaz Ehwaz Raido Nauthiz Ansuz Berkana Jera. You must change it the first time you log on. For security reasons your new password must not contain more than one Kano, Teiwaz or Algiz. and cannot contain the Blank Rune"

Tanuki"
- alt.sysadmin.recovery
28 August 2004: " Re: naming a system 'babylon4'

Dunno, I've never had a server stolen and taken back in time to help in a great war against the forces of darkness.
-- John Burnham

Really? Huh. For me, it's the only thing that makes sysadminning worthwhile, some days.
-- Q

Wouldn't you love to fill out *that* report? "Company asset #423423 was lost while fighting the forces of evil."
-- Chris Adams"
- alt.sysadmin.recovery
27 August 2004: "That's why there's no toilets on the Enterprise. They just beam it straight into the mass tanks from your body, much more efficient.
-- Peter da Silva

This gives new insight into why the engineering crew works so hard to get the system back online when the transporters go down.
-- Ansel"
- alt.sysadmin.recovery
26 August 2004: "Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product. -- Ferenc Mantfeld" - alt.sysadmin.recovery
25 August 2004: "(2) SCSI is *not* magic. There are fundamental technical reasons why it is necessary to sacrifice a young goat to your SCSI chain now and then." - alt.sysadmin.recovery
24 August 2004: "Here's your cable. We made it fifty feet long, just in case. In case what, in case tectonic movement makes the serial ports farther apart? -- Carl Jacobs

You should ask them to wrap the cable multiple times around a car battery "just to keep it stable". -- Mike Sphar"
- alt.sysadmin.recovery
23 August 2004: "I start to be a wandering sysadmin on the 10th Jan. -- John Burnham

Do you get your own bard as well?

"Bravely bold Sir Burnham
Brought forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die,
Oh, brave Sir Burnham!
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave Sir Burnham.

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp.
Or to have his cables gouged out, and his MX records broken!
To have his domains split, and his /dev burned away
And his file systems all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Burnham.

His newsrc smashed in and his heart cut out,
And his relays removed and his routers unplugged,
And his hubs baked and his soul burnt off,
And his peni--"

Mark Edwards"
- alt.sysamin.recovery
18 August 2004: http://comics.com/creators/bc/archive/images/bc2915210040816.gif
17 August 2004: AnyoneEB: didn't you know?
AnyoneEB: NYC is in upstate NY
Jon: as it turns out, the intersection of Amsterdam and 80th street is right near albany
02 August 2004: http://www.bobandgeorge.com/Archive/Mar02.php?date=10
17 July 2004: <MrAccident> GIS: dude, you can't just replicate a taco
<MrAccident> you have to split its wave function
<GuyInSummers> Not in a certain parallel universe you don't.
<Gau> But I think this is going to lead to a lot more problems internationally
<MrAccident> well, not much has been happening to solve problems internationally
<GuyInSummers> *shrug* I'm not going to be concerned unless Bush wins the election
<MrAccident> assuming there is one ;D
<GuyInSummers> Is one what? An international problem, an election, or a parallel tacoverse?
14 July 2004: <Michael1> USELESS PLACEHOLDERS DO NOT PERFORM BINARY SHIFTING OPERATIONS.
11 July 2004: <Michael1> Be prepared for when he busts in at 4 AM out of C++ nightmares.
<Michael1> "Can't sleep or the dereferenced null pointers will get me... can't sleep or the dereferenced null pointers will get me..."
02 July 2004: <FaulkFan420> THIS WHOLE MIRC CHATROOM IS OUT OF ORDER!!
* EB_Girl calls the repairman.
01 July 2004: <MrAccident> A regular barrel of LAUGHS in a can!
30 June 2004: <GuyInSummers> well, I'd DCC you one of these pepsis if I could
<AnyoneEB> GuyInSummers: a little too much time on IRC? ^_^
<GuyInSummers> AnyoneEB: Not ENOUGH time. If I spent as much time on IRC as I'd like, I'd KNOW how to DCC Pepsi :D
29 June 2004: "Or is the answer simply 'it depends on how you drive, what you had for breakfast, and the color of your neighbors' cat?

My mileage dropped drastically after pieces of the neighbors' cat got caught in the air intake.

If it hadn't been a black cat I wouldn't have run over it at night.

So, yes, mileage depends on the cat's color." - /.
28 June 2004: [19:28:50] <Gau> I've been up for over 24 hours
[19:29:20] <EB_Girl> Go get some sleep.
[19:29:33] <Gau> Mm..
[19:29:50] <Gau> Probably a good idea; I just forgot the URL I was typing.
27 June 2004: "Tourists start out with lots of gold (suitable for shopping with), a credit card, lots of food, some maps, and an expensive camera. Most monsters don't like being photographed." - NetHack manual
26 June 2004: "telemarketer: Hi, my name is Cyndi and I'm calling from __ company to tell you about...

me: I don't believe your name is Cyndi.

Gets 'em every time. :-)" - /.
25 June 2004: "<[UA]lavalamp> I was playing chutes and ladders with my 4-year-old son...when he won, he jumped up, pointed at me, and shouted "pwned!""
- bash.org #337295
24 June 2004: "<n42> they should offer C++ as a foreign language class" - IRC
23 June 2004: "I have many times been amazed at the calculating skills that imperial cooks must have.

You should see the calculating skills of the rebel cooks." - /. on metric vs. imperial
17 June 2004: <Michael1> I swear, if I get another email with variants of "the cablefilters will allow you to receive whatever", I'm going to go downtown and start hitting random people with an outsize Nerf hammer. :P
<Michael1> It won't help, but it'll reduce stress and not seriously harm anyone. :D
14 June 2004: "I can count to 1023 on my hands. Ask me about #132." - /. sig
11 June 2004: "I usually set my watch
To stun. I only break out the kill mode on mondays" - /.
09 June 2004: "They really should make mathematics more like pokemon, it would get more people interested in the subject
Riemann-chu, I prove you! Then bust out the paper." - /.
07 June 2004: Powerful New Techniques (PA strip)
29 May 2004: "<Geno> Dude...
<Geno> I was wearing my All Your Base shirt...and someone pointed out the craziest thing
<Geno> "Somebody Set Up Us the Bomb", when read Backwards, is "Bomb the US (united states) Up Set (upset) Somebody""
- bash.org #265013
28 May 2004: Zero Wing knows the future!
27 May 2004: "<riesto> So I discovered that half my students are failing because they just read bash.org every day in class.
<tumnest> How'd you determine that?
<riesto> One of them *accidentally* e-mailed me explaining how no one does anything in the class, dumbasses.
<riesto> So if you're reading this, students, GET TO FUCKING WORK! MODULE 10!"
- bash.org #192531
13 May 2004: "Rutan's SpaceshipOne Hits 200,000 Feet
As it launched it turned 90 degrees and skimmed along an inch off the ground through the croud." - /.
01 May 2004: ""Power Pellets sold by shady characters in dark alleys?"

who needs dark alleys? It's Washington Square park, just got to D2 by the chess boards..

If that gets modded Informative, I guess the mods really are on crack." - /.
30 April 2004: "I hate when I'm like, 'I going to go change something in the Matrix.' and then I forget what I was going to do." - Jon
25 April 2004: "<Tsk> oiuyniyu98h987h89yh87y98yjn987j987y897yhkiuk;''''
<Tsk> sorry.. there was a spider on my keyboard." - bash.org #52
18 April 2004: "<GuyInSummers> i never played ANY final fantasy :O
<SimonBob> HEATHER
<SimonBob> Er.
<SimonBob> HEATHEN." - IRC
13 April 2004: "Knebel's Law: It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics."
09 April 2004: "<GuyInSummers> I'm in sort of a dull, thoughtless stupor; and I think I've realized that it might just be sleep deprivation.
<AnyoneEB> lol
<GuyInSummers> hell, when i woke up tomorrow
<GuyInSummers> i thought it was a new weekday that had just been invented; as per the dream i'd had" - IRC
08 April 2004: "Underling: Sir, there's a situation. I have good news and bad news.

Bill Gates: Alright, let me hear it.

Underling: The bad news is, someone has created an XBox emulator capable of playing a commercial game, and the public has become aware of it.

Bill Gates: Oh no! That's horrible! This could undermine H&E's entire business model! What's the good news?

Underling: The game is Turok Evolution.

Bill Gates: *Whew*"
- /. (the emulator refered to does exist)
04 April 2004: "<Cody> Hmmm
<Cody> Amazon offers a discount if you buy Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations at the same time as Marx's Communist Manifesto..."
- bash.org #103546
03 April 2004: "<knightmare> _______ ___._._._
<GTEK> ?
<knightmare> /s_r__r 12_._._.1
<GTEK> dam i kno this
<knightmare> /ser_er 127._._.1
* Quits: GTEK (Quit)
* Quits: xfiles (Quit)
* Quits: Evolution (Quit)"
- bash.org #260282
31 March 2004: "The majority of the mod chip users that I know are pirates.

Well you try to swap a disk with a hook for an arm without scratching it! It makes sense to backup in that case!" - /.
29 March 2004: "<nicoli_t> Urgh... i feel like such a geek...
<nicoli_t> so I was in buffalo new york right, and theres this big like gothic building...
<nicoli_t> all these little ledges and shit...
<nicoli_t> So I looked at it... and said to myself "you know what... that would be a kickass sniping tower in unreal...
<nicoli_t> i could like, climb that with the translocater easily..."
<logical_or> lol, geek
<nicoli_t> thats okay, my friend started identifying what the radio towers on top of it did, he works at radio shack.
<logical_or> ROFL"
- bash.org #106500
28 March 2004: "[23:32:54] <GuyInSummers> Hm. I just realized that I've NEVER licked my monitor before.
[23:33:06] <GuyInSummers> And I dunno why, but now that I thought that, I just HAVE to do it."
- IRC
15 March 2004: "Eddies," said Ford, "in the space-time continuum."
"Ah" nodded Arthur, "is He. Is He."
09 March 2004: " 1776
Persistent, free to its friends, but won't let the world run it." - /. (on chmod)
06 March 2004: "<Naudiz> my IQ is high enough that I can do anything I want
<Naudiz> college means nothing
<netbsd_> What is this almighty IQ you have and what self-scoring IQ test gave you the idea you have it?
<Naudiz> I'm a Mensa member .. I allready mentioned this.
<netbsd_> So you're in the top two percent of the population?
<netbsd_> This is me being impressed.
<Naudiz> no actually ... only 1 in 50 people qualify to be in Mensa" - bash.org #120095
02 March 2004: "NASA has never lost a human in the sun, therefore a 1.5 year mission to the surface of the sun is perfectly safe as well." - /.
01 March 2004: "> Unless I'm missing something here? Cosmologists?

"Is there a cosmologist in the house? Anyone? My god, get this man a cosmologist!"" - /.
28 February 2004: "<GuyInSummers> being a VB-god is like being the tee-ball champion of the world in preparation for professional baseball" - IRC
27 February 2004: "<GuyInSummers> And man, do I laugh at any color-blind electricians!" - IRC
26 February 2004: "There's a difference between can't and won't. Won't can be changed to will.

Does that mean "can't" can be changed to "kill?"" - /.
21 February 2004: randomguy736 (18:45:04): lightin self on fire.......fun but bad idea
20 February 2004: "What does GOD need with a STARSHIP????" - /. (refering to Star Trek V)
18 February 2004: "Gravity is really f****ed up." - Jon
15 February 2004: http://sizzly.com/lastpage.htm
13 February 2004: AnyoneEB (21:21:45): find all the equations of the ones that are exponiential... can't you read?
apaulo06 (21:21:58): no
10 February 2004: " ". . .the original version [of Star Wars] technically don't exist."

You can't blame him. I mean how many times have you clicked on "Save" in the File Menu instead of "Save As"?" - /.
07 February 2004: "I can only assume the media is to blame, having painted video gamers as borderline psychopaths just waiting to snap and kill the person next to them on a daily basis, which is just a nasty lie, I haven't killed anyone in weeks." - Rodney (Largo)
06 February 2004: "A lock in a sock
Is impossible to block,
But new socks?
Two socks?
Whose socks?
Sue's socks.

-Dr. Seuss"
- /.
04 February 2004: "Oh, yeah, he's been breathing fire lately." - Jon
01 February 2004: The shuttle went how fast?
31 January 2004: "crossoverfanatic: well, go to chinatown in your state, if its possible and soak in the atmosphere
crossoverfanatic: its fun
crossoverfanatic: word of caution, wear bright colours
crossoverfanatic: preferably red
DWKomodo: why's that?
crossoverfanatic: red is a lucky colour
DWKomodo: that explains why communism caught on so well...." - bash.org #211415
30 January 2004: "* GuyInSummers hums, "This doom is MyDoom, this doom is YourDoom..."" - IRC
29 January 2004: "<cSk|Sperry> There were 2 people on a boat: /hop and /quit. /hop got off, who's still on the boat?
* nipple_frog has quit IRC" - bash.org #89997
28 January 2004: "<Arcturus> Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF" - bash.org #213425
24 January 2004: "Just don't create a file called -rf." - Larry Wall
23 January 2004: "Football combines two of the worst aspects of American society: Violence punctuated by committee meetings.." - unknown
20 January 2004: "A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a workstation..." - /. sig
18 January 2004: "Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose." - Douglas Adams
17 January 2004: "I would much rather have men ask why I have no statue, than why I have one." - Marcus Procius Cato
15 January 2004: "(Quit: "The world is not dying, someone is killing it. And these murderers have names and addresses.")" - IRC quit message
11 January 2004: "Push someone off a cliff and steal his password?
A tip: Steal password BEFORE pushing victim off cliff." - /.
10 January 2004: "If criminals were smart, they would be running telcoms or energy companies, or on Wall Street, hyping Internet stocks. Oh, wait...." - /.
09 January 2004: "What does a car need with Hit Points?
Some people just aren't very good at defensive driving. They need all the HP they can get." - /.
04 January 2004: " How many icebergs did the Ark bounce off of?
The Ark survived at least as many iceberg strikes as the Titanic." - /.
01 January 2004: "<GuyInSummers> OMG ITS @))%?" - IRC
31 December 2003: "So if the Time Square ball doesn't fall at midnight... does that mean the guy who drops the ball dropped the ball? And if he drops it correctly, has he then not dropped the ball?" - Jason, Foxtrot, 2003-12-31
28 December 2003: "for each $drm_product
for each $technology
"With {$drm_product} we will eliminate {$technology} piracy once and for all!"
end
end

Dude, you just replaced Jack Valenti with a very small shell script.

Awesome." - /.
27 December 2003: ""computer based firewalls?"
As opposed to what exactly?
Firebased computer walls? (In soviet russia?)" - /.
21 December 2003: "For those of you planning on seeing the third LOTR movie at the theater her are some survival tips.
1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"
2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."
3. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.
4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."
5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts
7. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."
8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians
10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.
12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.
13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"
14. Ask people around you who they think is the next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins
15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.
17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"
18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
19. Start an Orc sing-a-long.
20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused."
- MercyBeat, bash.org
20 December 2003: "They're leaving out the 'scouring of narnia' and 'the adventures of Aslan Bombadil'." - what they're leaving out of the Naria movies, /.
15 December 2003: robbop88 (16:53:03): "I want to be governer of Australia when I grow up... But I guess I'd settle for California!".
09 December 2003: "Commenting saves lives!" - IRC channel topic
06 December 2003: "The obvious mathematical breakthrough would be development of an easy way to factor large prime numbers." - The Road Ahead, Bill Gates
05 December 2003: "You don't donate your grades." - Paul
04 December 2003: "Why are we in a cul-de-sac?" - Paul
02 December 2003: "The number of papers publicly published proclaiming the "real soon now" end of Moore's law will double every 18 months." - /.
01 December 2003: "It's not fun if you're not stealing it." - Jeff Ba.
29 November 2003: "There's normally already lots of little slips inside a generic DVD player package, saying things like 'If you can read this, your warranty is void' and other stuff" - /.
27 November 2003: "What do trees have to talk about? Besides the consistancy of squirrel droppings?" - LOTR: TTT, ext. ed.
26 November 2003: "Actually, the funniest forum bug ever was in the old new forums (the ones that vanished mysteriously a while back), where if you typed a bunch of asterisks in a post (like this: *********), and subsequently went back to edit it, a bunch of swear words would appear in place of your asterisks." - sm.net forums
24 November 2003: "You've got to admit, "the opening bracket window system" has something to it, although I'm not quite sure what that something is exactly." - /.
22 November 2003: "You can't be that violent to someone in a pink shirt." - Vos
16 November 2003: "I'd argue that any time you're skipping school to play Doom, there's something wrong.

Absolutely. If you're skipping school to play Doom, you seriously need a computer upgrade." - /.
12 November 2003: "I can shove it up myself." Jon B.
11 November 2003: "You'll be OK, I hit you with the back of my sword. Opps! This sword is double-bladed!" - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
04 November 2003: "This isn't booze, it's holy water!" - (supposedly) Seiken Densetsu 3 fan translation
01 November 2003: robbop (22:44:36): "Why do they call it Safe Mode if you can trash your computer even worse when using it than in normal start up?"
31 October 2003: "People need good lies. There are too many bad ones." - Bokonon, "Cat's Cradle" by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
30 October 2003: * Gau offhandedly tosses a Pheonix Down at GiS
* GuyInSummers forgets what a Pheonix Down is, so he dives out of the just to be safe
* BlueAntoid hits GuyInSummers in the face with a copy of Final Fantasy 6
- IRC
29 October 2003: "Well, a picture IS worth a thousand words (or ten thousand, if the words are from a Tolkien book)." - /.
28 October 2003: "When writing poems,
the fewer words, the better.
No words? Better still."
- know_no_bounds, Everything2 (node_id=905248)
27 October 2003: "We did not have the apocalypse yesterday." - chem teacher
26 October 2003: "I am a bomb technician, if you see me running try to keep up" - a t-shirt
25 October 2003: robbop (21:29:08): my english skills are amazing
robbop (21:29:16): even if it is only in my essays
22 October 2003: "Little is known about this mysterious creature." - DAIM documentation (for RateClass)
21 October 2003: "Tomarrow night we will be back in New York. I suspect we will be back in CA often." - Peter Jennings, ABC World News Tonight, 2003-10-08
18 October 2003: apaulo06 (12:51:02): yea i just learned how to read
16 October 2003: "What's R-A?"
"Ra, the sun god."
- student and Mr. L (chem), before elements quiz
15 October 2003: "Great, a repressive country that hates the entire planet, has nuclear weapons, is mentally unstable, and now can send people into orbit.

Enough about the USA, what about China?" - /.
11 October 2003: "I was a sophomore in high school, meaning that I complained about having a lot of work to do, when in reality I had little." - reidman, owner/orginal webmaster of starmen.net
10 October 2003: "Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are actually good and helpful, you'll have to cram them down people's throats at gunpoint." - Howard Aiken
07 October 2003: "I had a history teacher who was convinced that the Egyptians didn't build the Pyramids (and this was long before Stargate came out)."
05 October 2003: "the plural of anecdote is not data"
04 October 2003: "Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure."
- Ross MacDonald (1915-1983)
03 October 2003: Jon (21:54:49): i'm drop dead tired.
AnyoneEB (21:54:51): I really gtg, bye
Jon (21:54:53): i didn't have my nap today
AnyoneEB (21:54:54): then drop dead
29 September 2003: "Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater." - Albert Einstein
27 September 2003: "Do you call it solitude? Do you call it liberty?
When all the world turns away to leave you lonely"
- "The World", .hack//SIGN OST
23 September 2003: "The Athlon64 can eat 64 bits of data per clock cycle and convert them to heat energy. The AthlonXP can only consume and convert 32 bits to heat per clock cycle." - /.
22 September 2003: "If you are thinking 'what about significant figures?' then no one loves you." - /.

"The United States does not interfere in the affiars of other countries."
"Since when?"
"Since this adminatration was elected."
- Stargate: SG-1: Season 1: #14?: "Cor-ai"
18 September 2003: "A typical Google sample problem: Suppose there are X lockers in the hallway, and someone is opening every Nth locker where n is a prime number. Write a program to parse all the html files on the internet and return something useful. :)" - /.

Rob Huxley: "The Mayan calandar has been very accurate so far and it ends in 2012."
Jon: "Oh, fuck!"
17 September 2003: "Data is a creative process." - Jon
16 September 2003: "Data is not a creative process." - Mr. L, chemistry teacher
15 September 2003: "I think there are eleven types of people: I'm the third." - Paul V.

"Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there" - Will Rogers

"Yes, I imagine that any sufficiently advanced civilization is indistinguishable from an insane asylum."
12 September 2003: "In A.D. 2003
War was beginning
Teenager1: What happen?
Teenager2: Somebody set up us the P2P sniffer.
Teenager3: We get e-mail.
Teenager1: What!
Teenager3: Main mail client turn on.
RIAA: How are you gentlemen!
RIAA: All your MP3 are belong to us.
RIAA: You are on the way to bankruptcy.
Teenager1: What you say!
RIAA: You have no chance to pay us make your time.
RIAA: HA HA HA HA ....
Teenager1: Take off every share!
Teenager2: You know what you doing.
Teenager1: Move share.
Teenager1: For great lawsuit."
06 September 2003: "Anyone else think this sounds like a bad hollywood plot ?

We only have 48 hours to shut down 20 randomn computers or the internet is brought to it's knees." - /. post refering to sobig.f virus

"They are smoking crack." - Linus Torvalds on SCO
15 August 2003: "The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For instance, take the simple phrase "secure the building".

The Army will post guards around the place.

The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.

The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters

The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy."
09 August 2003: "Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?" -- Clarence Darrow

ilovemydualg4 (19:46:00): wow i used proper spellings in the past two messages

"How many Bavarian Illuminati does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three: one to screw it in, and one to confuse the issue."

"What is the Matrix?

It is an array of coefficients repersenting a set of linear transformations." - /.
07 August 2003: "Maybe B was still short for BCPL, and C is now short for CPL because it's not Basic any more. So next, P would would be short for PL because it's not really combined (?) any more. And finally, L would be for, well, L, because it's not really for programming any more." - /. post
03 August 2003: "We're actors! We're the opposite of people!" - Tom Stoppard

"I used to do it all the time on LSD." - not me :)

"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo
01 August 2003: "...ancient martial arts of Judo and Placebo and...

Placebo? Is that the art of convincing your enemy you hit him really without actually touching him?"

BigJmusicManCT99 (23:47:00): if u forget binary dan...then ull have more friends
BigJmusicManCT99 (23:47:08): thats y i dont wanna learn
22 July 2003: "Re:Biggerst threat to humanity (Score:5, Funny)

Ignorance?

I don't understand. What do you mean?" - /. post

"Help stamp out and abolish redundancy and repetition."

"Neuga, ziena, zieber, zom...
Now the chosen time has come...
Exchange this world for...!" - Magus' Lavos summon, 600 AD, Chrono Trigger (0x378803)
20 July 2003: "Neuga, ziena, zieber, zom..." - if you get the ref, you really need to get outside more (see more recent info for what it's from)

"Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car." -- Evan Davis

multi-lingual 404, really funny
14 July 2003: "Every cloud has a silver lining (except for the mushroom shaped ones, which have a lining of Iridium & Strontium 90)" - /. sig

"When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout." - /. random quote

"IPv6 has enough IP's to identify each unique second until IPv8 is released.
IPv8 won't be released until all IPv6 addresses are used.
The longer it takes for IPv8 to be released, the sooner it will happen!" - /.
12 July 2003: "I mean this in the nicest way possible, but, die, Chelsey, die." - Gersh (different Chelsey)

"I'm a Markist."
"You like messing with people's countries?"
"They're called lands, you idiot!"
(MTG/NCC ref)

"Solutions are obvious if one only has the optical power to observe them over the horizon." -- K.A. Arsdall

"There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary, and those who have friends."

"When using any driving directions or map, it's a good idea to do a reality check and make sure the road still exists" - Yahoo! Maps

"They were playing Dance Dance Revolution. ... ... ...Why is it called that?"
05 July 2003: "There is no IP addresses shortage. We have more than 300 spare class A networks." - Mohammed
Saeed al-Sahaf

"Axilla regarding post counts: Its kinda like 'hey I talk to less people in real life than you!'"
- friend's info

QOTD: "It's not the despair... I can stand the despair. It's the hope."

"let's take this paranoia to the nth degree, shall we?" - dragonman97@slashnet.org#joyoftech

"How would you know this unless you were in league with the contrast?" - Nathan, way out of context
25 June 2003: "Most people are looking for intelligent life in space. I haven't given up Earth yet."

14, 23, 34, 42, ... (what is the next number in the sequence?)

"I chose a stirring utensil!" - Ben M., in his sleep

"299,792,458 meters per second should be enough for anyone."

"The surest protection against temptation is cowardice." -- Mark Twain

"Strange game: The only way to win is not to play." - Wargames

... I thought they were kidding!
12 June 2003: "Don't verb nouns." -- William Safire

"The hokey pokey is not what it's all about." - James (and others)

"I'm not all that stoned." - Jamie

"Meddle not in the affairs of filkers, for your name sounds funny and scans to Greensleeves." -anonymous

"Maybe I should write short novellas every-damn-day until I can spell better." - Mike The Vagrant, MT forums

BMWinchell88 (20:50:09): im dumb

"Stealing should be easy." - Arpan

"You know you spend too much time on the internet when... you say 'IRL' in a face-to-face conversation." - me
01 June 2003: "[Tycho] will be the guy standing next [the game] asking the developer questions like if their physics engine takes into account the surface of the table when calculating the rolling of a D20 or some shit." - Gabe, PA 2003-05-19

"Newbie is from the Latin root, Newbius, which means 'Duh, I'm stupid'" - sm.net mailbag letter

StevieRayDude (17:55:06): you're not a people
StevieRayDude (17:55:09): you're a special people

"The quest for perpetual motion has been going on since at least the 11th century

Without ever stopping!" - /.
17 May 2003: "Air is for wimps." - Paul

"All the interesting events happen in the last dozen years." - The Mote in God's Eye (book)

"You're against the bombing of the moon? What are you, unpatriotic?" - /.

"I think that might have made more sense if we watched it dubbed in Cantonese." - Nathan

"Hitting people with sticks? Amento would make a pretty good hockey player." - Jamie

"Wait... That didn't make any sense, but it's right anyway." - Nathan

ilovemydualg4@ mac.com (16:58:25): damn i lost a key
ilovemydualg4@ mac.com (16:58:29): i don't need a 0 anyway, do i?
13 May 2003: "if zelda has taught us anything, it's that webbing and fire don't mix." - 8-bit theatre boards

"My plans are always practical! It's the laws of physics that get in the way of my success." - Red Mage, 8-bit theatre (date: 030318)

"Your GP or your HP!"-Thief, 8-bit theatre
28 April 2003: Me: "What's that about?"
Nate: "Giant robots, I think. Might be regular sized robots."

42

"I am not a crook."

"[10°37] iLoveMyDualG4: At least you don't have a gnome for a math teacher
[10°37] MMKK: you have a windowing environment for a math teacher??"
- #joyoftech@irc.slashnet.org

apaulo06: i would block u except i would prolly fail math
07 April 2003: "The Universe - some information to help you live in it.
...
4. Population: None.
It is a known fact that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination." - H2G2 vol2 ch19
30 March 2003: "No discipline is ever requisite to force attendance upon lectures which are really worth the attending." -- Adam Smith, "The Wealth of Nations"

http://anyoneeb.net:83/~anyoneeb/newtheme.png <-- cool WinXP theme, download it here: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/1409511 (requires StyleXP or replacement, google it!)
22 March 2003: "No battle plan ever suvives contact with the enemy." - ancient maxim

"Kid Leto's business plan:

1. Wait while your whole family dies in "accidents" or is "posessed by ghosts".
2. Become one with worm
3. [...]
4. Prophet!" - /. user

"The truth about a man lies first and foremost in what he hides." -- Andre Malraux

"'But i don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here. I'm mad, You're mad.'
'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.'"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
15 March 2003: "After three days without programing^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H DDR life becomes meaningless" - slightly edited from the Tao of Programming

Vulcans are elves!

ilovemydualg4@ mac.com: what do you mean?
ilovemydualg4@ mac.com: "end lines"

apaulo06 (20:53:13): im so stupid

"Just for the record: we could have used duct tape." - my brother

"To understand recursion, one must first understand recursion."

"It takes 47 muscles to :-( and 13 muscles to :-) , but it doesn't take any muscles to sit there with a dumb look on your face."
20 February 2003: "And then he thought: Is this how idiots rationalize their stupidity to themselves?" - Ender's Shadow

"What would Jesus do at the end of the day to protect the children in this post Columbine, post September 11 world from CowboyNeal the funk king of michigan?"

"If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows crashed... wait he does."

BigJmusicManCT99 (19:57:26): u read my mind again

"Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform." -- Mark Twain

"New in 0.08a [NOT made in Cobol]" - WinAmp Realaudio input plug-in

Evan Sz.: "Do it in the name of Allah."
Damian: "I'm not Jewish."
12 February 2003: "[This space intentionally left blank]"

"The purpose of argument is to change the nature of truth. -Bene Gesserit saying"

" Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."

"This is not the sig line you are looking for... -- Old Jedi Sig Line Trick"

"Don't worry, you're not paranoid. We really are out to get you."

"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme." - Mark Twain
01 February 2003: StevieRayDude (16:56:56): im typig with my nose

"ilovemydualg4@ mac.com (12:00:00 AM): it's free
ilovemydualg4@ mac.com (12:00:00 AM): and legal"

"There are always four sides to every story: your side, their side, the truth, and what really happened."

"Good is weak, evil is strong. What, do I have to draw you a diagram?"

"All that glitters is not gold; all that wander are not lost."

StevieRayDude: yaknow some peple are just SO dumb
soccerant3: i even figured that out

"Lost a planet, Master Obi-wan has? How embarassing." - Yoda, SW: AotC

"Old timer, n.: One who remembers when charity was a virtue and not an organization."
29 January 2003: StevieRayDude (23:13:35): think... in school... i'm lost

http://anyoneeb.net:83/~anyoneeb/notmine/onering2.jpg

http://www.madhack.com/~madhack/frodo_has_failed.jpg <-- very funny!

"Under capitalism man exploits man. Under communism it's the other way around."

"For all sad words
Of tongue and pen
The saddest are those:
'It might have been.'" -John Greenleaf Whittier
24 January 2003: "Quid quid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
(anything said in Latin sounds important)"

Iraq has no weapons of mass destruction. Why am I so sure you ask? The law of Conservation of Mass. - me

StevieRayDude (22:13:17): the seizures are half the fun

"Fe fi fo fum
I smell the blood of an english man
This song is really dumb." - school play

Kevin is free!
21 January 2003: ZHBrass: 185 people walk into a bar. the 186th one ducks
You thought jon's jokes were bad!

"All right, they're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us... they can't get away this time."

"In the force if Yoda's so strong, construct a sentence with words in the proper order then why can't he?"

"This is the eternal kingdom of Zeal, where dreams can come true. But at what price?" - Chrono Trigger

"Weapons... If there weren't evil in this world, there would be no need for weapons. What a sad state of affairs..." - Melchior, Chrono Trigger
19 January 2003: "In mathematics, one does not understand things, one merely gets used to them." - VonNeumann

"That's one of the more ridiculously ignorant statements I have seen in a long time -- and I read Slashdot!"

"Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something."

"In soviet space craft, engines move you!"

"I'm trying to beat an impossible game." - Nathan

"I just call random people fat." - Winston

"Some of these phrases have more than one word." - french teacher

"Stop degrading yourselves! We Enlightened Ones were once the same as you. The only difference is that we are under Lavos's control..." - Schala, Chrono Trigger
17 January 2003: "Je suis screwed." - Lou on the French midterm

"These are not the droids you are looking for."

"That's why it's called it reality show: it's not real." - Paul

StevieRayDude (21:24:40): IM SO
StevieRayDude (21:24:41): DUMB!!!!!

"Time is fluid ... like a river with currents, eddies, backwash. -- Spock, "The City on the Edge of Forever", stardate 3134.0"

"Am I a butterfly dreaming I'm a man...
Or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of sashimi?
Never assume that what you see and feel is real!" - Masa or Mune in Enhasa, Chrono Trigger, SNES
12 January 2003: "I am not authorized to initiate jihad." - Ben's profile

"Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday.
Song and sorrow fill the air.
People dying everywhere." - sung slowly, as sung by a 7th grade French teacher at school

"Shortarse kills dark lord by chucking ring down volcano. Local vagrant elected king." - summary of LOTR in 25 or less words
07 January 2003: AnyoneEB: umm... so you're writing slower, less portable, larger code than mine?
ilovemydualg4: yes

"I said a bow string, not a g string!" - ark td (WC3 third-party map)

"In America you use drones to execute foreign policy. In Soviet Russia, foreign policy is to execute drones!" - a /. post

Any plot hole in the LOTR movies, no matter how great, can be explained by the quote "The rings wants to get back to its master." - me

"The world is run by idiots because they're more efficent than hamsters." - a /. sig

"Stories to end all stories on a given subject don't." - Larry Niven
04 January 2003: "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." - Gandhi

"Information wants to be stolen." - /. user

"Computers don't actually think. You just think they think. (We think.)"

"Darkness called, but I was on the phone, so I *69'd darkness. I said 'Darkness, pick up,' but he didn't pick up." - ark td

"If Pro is the opposite of Con, what is the opposite of Progress?"

ilovemydualg4 (19:14:18): we own 4.44 percent of Zaire!
ilovemydualg4 (19:14:20): cool!

"No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large." -- Mark Twain
31 December 2002: It's the same tree!

"Well, why do you use Emacs instead of vi? Or ed? Or writing to disk using very, very small magnets?"

"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat." - Albert Einstein

"Truth is far stranger than fiction." - someone who never read the Hitchhiker's Guide Trilogy

"Writers who write for other writers should write letters." - Larry Niven
26 December 2002: My bro (looking at WinXP startup screen) "I think that's 16 [colors]." *starts counting*

"...why doesn't slashdot ever get slashdotted?"

"I always thought that the Matrix was perfect for Keanu Reeve's. For 90 percent of the movie, he had to stand around and act dumbfounded. Something he does quite well. In my opinion, the last ten minutes of the movie, where he "understands" his place in the Matrix, was where he did his worst acting.
Since in the sequels he'll be required to act more than dumbfounded, I'm not confident that he will be able to pull it off. Maybe that's why they're releasing bang-bang, one right after the other."
22 December 2002: StevieRayDude: LOL you expect me to make sense? you've known me how long?

"United Airlines filed for Chapter 11 federal bankruptcy Monday in Chicago. Not surprisingly, the filing was an hour and 20 minutes behind schedule." - SNL

"Chris Matthews: Republicans want to put Osama bin Laden on the Supreme Court!
Amy Sanborn: It's about time." - SNL

"patronizing, of course, means "talking to people like they're stupid."" - Al Gore on SNL

"in soviet russia, cd listens to you!"
14 December 2002: "IN SOVIET RUSSIA the old gets joke!"

"I do have a life, it just involves spending a lot of time in front of the computer."

"Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul"

"This film rated PG13 for epic battle scenes and some scary images." - start of LOTR: FOR DVD

Get the DVD of LOTR: FOR and go to the part where Bilbo sees the ring in Rivendale. Right before he makes the face, put the DVD into slow motion. (note: this is one of the scary images from the rating ;-))

"Why do they all have blue eyes?"
"He doesn't have blue eyes."
"He has blue eyebrows."
- conversation while watching LOTR: FOR

"Travel light." - Aragron while picking up an extra sword, LOTR: FOR
07 December 2002: "I can't spell SQL." - my brother

"IANAEG - I am not an elder god. "
"The more truth in a lie, the better it is; the truth is the best lie." - Hari Seldon
"Avoid clichés like the plage."

"Isn't it possible, he wondered, for one person to love another withough trying to own each other? Or is that buried so deep into our genes that we can never get it out? Territoriality. My wife. My friend. My lover. My outrageous and annoying computer personality who's about to be shut off at the behest of a half-crazy girl genius with OCD on some planet i never heard of." -Ender Wiggin

"Fertility is hereditary. If your parents didn't have any children, neither will you."
29 November 2002: "The client is in the hands of the enemy."

"This post is in double-ROT13 encoding. Any attempts to read it will be punished to the full extent of the DMCA. "

"The majority is always sane, Louis." -- Nessus

"My arm is cured! [pulls arm out of sling] Ahh!! No, it's still broken." - Princess Mononoke

I have way too much free time.
02 November 2002: "What's another word for "thesaurus"?"
".liaj ot oG .ACMD eht detaloiv evah uoy ,gis siht no noitpyrcne eht gnikaerb yB "
"Philosophy is a game with objectives but no rules.
Mathematics is a game with rules but no objectives. "
"[root@localhost]% rm God
God not found. "
"REM Old programmers don't die. They just GOSUB without RETURN. "
28 October 2002: "You are unique; just like everyone else."

"That's a reason why the US can't join the European Union.
And here I thought it was because the US is *not in Europe*."

"Remember the butterfly: fly like an eagle!"
"Programming is an art that fights back."
"Nothing is better than eternal happiness. A ham sandwitch is better than nothing. Therfore a ham sandwitch is better than eternal happiness."
"NOTE: The is not a visible character." - Microsoft Knowledge Base
"You cant stop Open source... It is completely a unstoppable force hell bent on.....something.... "
"...and your magic-caster... dies." - KODT